The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
His politics are of course Tory. A Tory Prime Minister honoured himself
by recommending the King to honour Sir Louis, and much time and a good
deal of money spent in the Tory cause make it quite likely that a
further honour will some time he conferred upon him when (and if) his
party ever gets back into power. It is significant, anyhow, that he has
made several visits lately to the Heralds’ College, where the shape of
Viscounts’ coronets seemed to interest him a good deal, for since the
motto of his business life, which has proved so successful, was ‘Prepare
well in advance,’ it is likely that it will apply in such matters as
these as well, and it may safely be assumed that on that happy day his
spoons and forks will be found to be already engraved with the honour
conferred on him. To be sure, should this happen before Lady Mary’s
brother finally succumbs to the insidious bottle, she will find herself
a step lower than her previous rank had been, by becoming a Viscountess
instead of remaining an Earl’s daughter. But, on the other hand, this
will be but a temporary eclipse, for it cannot be so very long before
she comes from under her cloud again on the demise of the dipsomaniac,
and shines forth as an independent Countess. The whole affair, moreover,
has been talked out so constantly by them that they are sure to have
come to a wise decision based on the true principles of snobbishness.
Snobbishness is no superficial thing with them, or indeed with anybody;
it springs from fountains as deep as those of character or religion. Now
that between them they have got the Peerage practically by heart, its
study, though they often read over favourite passages together, no
longer takes them much time or conscious thought, it merely permeates
them like Christianity or the moral qualities. It tinges all they do,
and they do a great many very kind and considerate and generous things.
Sir Baronet is the most liberal giver; no appeal made for a deserving
and charitable object ever came to him in vain, but deep in his heart
all the time that he is signing his munificent cheque, the thankful
cries of the poor folk he has succoured sound in his ears, as they
murmur, ‘Thank you, Sir Baronet!’ ‘Bless you, Sir Baronet!’ Lady Mary
is equally open-handed, especially when children and dumb animals are
concerned, and she declares she can almost hear the thumping of the
dogs’ tails as they strive to say, ‘Thank you, my lady!’ ‘Bless your
ladyship’s kind heart.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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