The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Mr. Pate," said the father of the fair Juliet, visibly affected by
Pate's distress, "I am rich, and so is my daughter's husband. She is my
only child and will inherit all my wealth. She don't want your property.
Your farm has been purchased by us, and a deed prepared securing the
title to you. Here is the deed, sir, and here is a check on my banker
for a sum equal to the value of your personal property, which was sold
by the sheriff. Good-morning, Mr. Pate." And Mr. Singleton hurried away,
leaving Pate dumb with amazement.
After having been haunted by bad lack for a long period Fortune smiled
upon M. T. Pate at last. The first thing he did, after being
re-established in his former home, was to hunt up old Whitey, then in
the possession of Simon Rump. Simon's angel had gone to Abraham's bosom,
and the eldest of the female cherubs, who had now assumed the appearance
of a full-grown woman, kept house for the bereaved Rump. When Pate
called at the house he found his friend Perch seated by the side of the
female cherub, who was evidently delighted with his society. Perch was
entertaining the cherub with an account of his adventures by sea and
land, and, like Desdemona,--
"She swore, in faith, 'twas strange, 'twas passing strange;
'Twas pitiful, 'twas wondrous pitiful;
She wished she had not heard it; yet she wished
That Heaven had made her such a man."
The sagacity of M. T. Pate enabled him to perceive that Perch and the
cherub were in the incipient stages of love, and he left them in that
embarrassing condition and sought Simon Rump, whom he found feeding his
hogs. Rump agreed to give up old Whitey, and Pate paid the ransom for
his horse and rode home in a happy mood of mind.
Next morning, as he was riding his four-footed friend through the
streets of Mapleton, he perceived Wiggins walking with the widow whom he
had once led to the altar but failed to marry, owing to an unfortunate
blunder. They had evidently become reconciled; and Wiggins was now
performing the part of Othello, and employing the witchcraft which that
dusky hero had used in wooing Brabantio's daughter.
As Pate rode on he met Gideon Foot, who informed him that Bliss had been
blessed with an heir, and the boy was to be named M. T. Pate. Love had a
sweet babe several weeks old, that looked like a Cupid smiling in the
cradle, and very recently a pretty pair of young Doves had made their
appearance in the town of Mapleton.
Pate rode home in a meditative mood. A strange feeling came over him; a
feeling he had never experienced before; and as he sat in his lonely
abode, absorbed in meditation, it became stronger, and finally obtained
the mastery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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