The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"In what respect?" asked Bragg.
"Why, it is well known that the negro race, when emancipated, goes back,
by degrees, to its original barbarism. Emancipate the negroes, and, at
same future day, we will have a horrible race of savages and cannibals
among us. They will run wild in our forests, and, after a time, tails
will grow out from their persons. They will jump into our windows at
night and carry off our babies and devour them; and no Dutchman will be
safe from their cannibal ferocity. People will have to hunt them with
dogs, and catch them, and cut off their tails, and civilize them again."
"Never!" exclaimed Bragg, "never! Man once civilized never goes back to
his original condition. Emancipate the negroes and you need not
apprehend that they will return to their tails."
"Are you in favor of emancipation, Captain Bragg?" inquired Seddon.
"My dear sir, we will not discuss that question at present. By the
powers of mud! Mr. Belton," exclaimed Bragg, looking at his watch, "we
have forgotten all about Botts and the challenge."
"I was about to remind you, captain," said Toney, "that as you have the
choice of weapons, as well as of time and place, it is necessary that I
should receive your instructions in relation to these preliminary
arrangements."
"I leave time and place to you, Mr. Belton; and as to weapons, I am
equally familiar with all the weapons employed in private or public
warfare. I once fought a native of New Zealand with a boomerang, Mr.
Seddon."
"What sort of a weapon is that, Captain Bragg?"
"It is a missile which if it fails to hit the object at which it is
aimed comes bounding back to the hand that hurls it. But, by the powers
of mud! at the first throw my boomerang came bounding back with the New
Zealander impaled on its point and howling for mercy."
"Then," said Toney, "I am to understand that you leave the selection to
me, and will not refuse to fight with any weapon I may designate?"
"Refuse! certainly not. I will fight with a harpoon if you so choose, or
a gun loaded with Greek fire."
"Or hot water," suggested Seddon.
"To be sure," said Bragg.
"Captain Bragg, would you really fight with a gun loaded with hot
water?" inquired Toney.
"Mr. Belton," said Bragg, "he is a poor workman who finds fault with his
tools. I will face my antagonist with any weapon which he is not afraid
to hold in his own hand."
"Very good," said Belton. "And now I must leave you with Mr. Seddon,
while I have an interview with Wiggins, who, it seems, is Botts's
second."
Toney took up his hat and left the room, as Bragg was in the act of
poising a cane for the purpose of showing Seddon how to hurl a
boomerang.
FOOTNOTE:
[2] The theory of an eloquent lecturer in a discourse recently delivered
in Boston.
CHAPTER VI.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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