The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel — John Shaqi
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Fled!" exclaimed Bragg; and his face became as radiant as the morning
just then illuminated by the sun which had appeared above the eastern
horizon.
"Yes," said Wiggins, "Botts has run off like an arrant poltroon."
"I will post him for cowardice!" exclaimed Bragg.
"As you please," said Wiggins. "I want nothing more to do with Mr.
Botts. He attempted to assassinate me."
"Assassinate you!" exclaimed Toney.
"Yes, sir; when I informed him of the terms proposed by you, he
attempted to take my life."
"Attempted to kill his second!" said Seddon.
"The assassin! the ruffian! the poltroon! I'll post him!" said Bragg.
"He jumped up and aimed a blow at my head with a chair," said Wiggins.
"An assault and battery," said Tom. "Liable in a suit for damages."
"He afterwards became calm, apologized for the outrage, and agreed to
meet Captain Bragg at the hour named. But when I called for him this
morning he had disappeared."
"Disappeared!" said Toney.
"Yes, sir,--absconded,--fled to parts unknown."
"I will publish him," said Bragg. "I will prepare placards with the
words BOTTS and COWARD in letters as big as my hand! Come, Mr. Belton;
come, gentlemen."
"Put out the fires, Cæsar. Take care of the pots, Hannibal," said
Seddon. And with these instructions to those two distinguished
personages, Tom shouldered the tin tubes and followed after Bragg, who,
with Belton and Wiggins, was proceeding with rapid strides towards the
town.
FOOTNOTE:
[3] We have not been to find any account of this combat in Napier's
History of the Peninsular War. The historian overlooked it.
CHAPTER IX.
Captain Bragg, with an appetite rendered voracious by his exercise in
the open air at so early an hour, made a hearty breakfast on an abundant
supply of ham and eggs, which Lord Byron has said is a dish good enough
for an emperor. Having finished his repast, he arose from the table, and
going to his apartment, proceeded to prepare the placard in which he
intended to make known the poltroonery of Botts to the public. When a
man's mind is full of his subject, composition is performed with ease
and rapidity. The words roll off from the end of the pen as naturally as
water flows from a perennial fountain. Bragg's writing instrument
galloped across the paper and soon covered the foolscap with a terrible
denunciation of the unfortunate Botts.
The indignant duelist hurried off to a printing-office, and said to the
proprietor, "I want you to print this immediately."
"Will you be so good as to furnish me with your name?" said the
proprietor.
"Of what consequence is my name to you?" said Bragg. "I want you to
print the advertisement, and here is the money."
"Can't do it," said the proprietor. "Can't put anything in my paper
without the name of the party who furnishes it; advertisement or no
advertisement,--paid for or not,--I can't print it."
"Why not?" said Bragg.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account