The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel — John Shaqi
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Do you not keep a house for the accommodation of travelers?" said
Bragg. "For the entertainment of man and beast?"
"But not for the entertainment of man and devil! That monkey is a born
devil, sir!"
"He was a royal present from her Majesty the Queen of Madagascar," said
Bragg.
"A royal present from his Majesty the Old Boy!" said Boniface. "He gets
loose just when he pleases. He chased the cooks out of the kitchen, and
ate up the eggs they had got for breakfast. He stole a negro baby out of
its cradle and hid it in the wood-house."
"He is a cannibal!" said Seddon.
"One of the captain's long-tailed African friends," said Toney.
"Dines on babies," said Tom. "He'll be after a Dutchman next."
"Out of this house he goes, and you, too!" said the landlord. "Here,
Cæsar, Scipio! carry Captain Bragg's baggage down and set it on the
pavement." The negroes proceeded to obey orders. "And now be off!" said
Boniface. "I don't ask you to settle your bill; I want no money from
you. I want you to leave, and take that monkey with you!"
"You had better go," said Seddon to Bragg, "or he will call on the
sheriff to summon a _posse comitatus_ and put you out."
"I want no comitatus, Mr. Seddon," said the landlord, overhearing the
remark; "I can manage him and his monkey both."
The sagacity of Bragg enabled him to comprehend the situation. He
perceived that the indignant Boniface was not to be intimidated even by
a harpoon or a boomerang. Toney Belton had whispered to the cosmopolite
that the landlord was the very man who had shot General Packenham from
his horse, and thereby gained for Old Hickory his glorious victory on
the banks of the Mississippi; and Tom Seddon asseverated that he had
decapitated three Indians with a bowie-knife, in a hand-to-hand
encounter, in the Everglades of Florida. Upon calm consideration Bragg
determined to leave the hotel. His baggage was conveyed to a
boarding-house which Seddon had found for him in the suburbs of the
town. Here he secured comfortable quarters for himself and an asylum for
his monkey.
At night, after smoking their cigars, Belton proposed to his friend that
they should call on Botts. They were sitting in his room, with Wiggins,
talking to the unfortunate man, and getting him in a cheerful mood by
pleasant conversation, when Pate rushed in with horror depicted in his
countenance.
"What's the matter, Mr. Pate?" said Belton.
"Oh!--oh!--oh!"
"What's the matter?" said Wiggins.
"Help--help--help!"
"What's the matter? What's the matter?" exclaimed everybody at once.
"Perch--Perch!"
"What has he done?" said Wiggins.
"Has committed suicide!"
And Pate rushed from the room like one bereft of his reason. Toney, Tom,
and Wiggins ran after him, while Botts jumped from his bed and hurried
through the door; and several affrighted females loudly screamed as they
beheld him swiftly gliding along the corridor, in his white garments,
and looking like a ghost.
CHAPTER XI.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account