The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Claribel Carrington and Imogen Hazlewood were cousins. The former was an
orphan whose father had died in affluence, leaving his only child a
large estate. Her home was the magnificent mansion of her uncle, Colonel
Hazlewood, a wealthy citizen of Bella Vista, and her constant companion
was the beautiful Imogen. Each of these young ladies had a devoted
lover, who, as Tom Seddon had remarked, would have gone on a pilgrimage
to the North Pole in search of an icicle in obedience to her wishes.
Clarence Hastings adored the lovely Claribel, and Imogen was worshiped
by the handsome Harry Vincent. The young men were only sons of two
wealthy gentlemen, and consequently each would inherit an ample fortune.
They were highly educated and accomplished. Clarence had devoted himself
to the study of medicine; while Harry was a man of leisure and had
become a votary of the Muses, having already published a small volume of
poems, which were admired by the general reader, and had even been
commended by critics. But Clarence, although he had made great progress
in anatomy and was satisfied that a man could not exist without a
heart, was inclined to believe that a woman sometimes managed to get
along without that important organ. He arrived at this conclusion from
pursuing his studies in the society of the lovely Claribel. Harry
Vincent had discovered that the poets in all ages had used the word in
their verses, and supposed that most women had a heart, but was afraid
that Imogen had grown up in magnificent beauty without ever having had
one deposited by nature in her bosom. After much meditation, he
determined to ascertain if he was not mistaken, and in the afternoon of
the very day on which the valiant Captain Bragg had been expelled from
the hotel by the indignant landlord, he proceeded to the mansion of
Colonel Hazlewood and inquired for Imogen. He was told that she was
walking in the garden. Thither he went, and in an arbor beheld a sight
which convinced him that the beautiful Imogen had a heart. He hastily
retired, and determined to go to the Mexican war, and march for the
Halls of the Montezumas.
What spectacle was it that caused such warlike emotions in the bosom of
Harry Vincent? Why was he so suddenly impelled to march under the
star-spangled banner against Santa Anna and his legions, in the valley
of Mexico?
Oh, women! women! pretty doves or pigeons!
How many men for you their weapons clutch!
For you the Grecians murdered all the Phrygians.
And it was on account of one of the most beautiful of womankind that
poor Harry Vincent determined to shoulder his musket and shed his blood
on the field of battle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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