The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
What, ho! apothecary!
_Apothecary._ Who calls so loud?
_Romeo._ Come hither, man! I see that thou art poor.
Hold! There is forty ducats! [$80.] Let me have
A dram of poison.
_Apoth._ Such mortal drugs I have, but Mantua's law
Is death to any he that utters them.
_Rom._ Art thou so bare, and full of wretchedness,
And fear'st to die? Famine is on thy cheeks;
Need and oppression starveth in thy eyes;
Upon thy back hangs ragged misery;
The world is not thy friend, nor the world's law;
The world affords no law to make thee rich;
Then be not poor, but break it, and take this.
_Apoth._ My poverty, but not my will, consents."
When we behold the opulent druggists of the present day, we can hardly
credit the fact that for nearly two hundred years the apothecary of Mantua
was a fair specimen of the wretches who represented that now important
branch of business.
The physician was the master, the apothecary the slave!
The following were among the rules prescribed by Dr. Bullyn for the
"apothecary's life and conduct" during the Elizabethan era:--
"1. He must serve God, be clenly, pity the poore.
2. Must not be suborned for money to hurt mankind.
4. His garden must be at hand, with plenty of herbes, seedes, and
rootes.
5. To sow, set, plant, gather, preserve, and keepe them in due time.
6. To read Dioscorides, to learn ye nature of plants and herbes.
(Dioscorides published a work on vegetable remedies about 1499, in
Greek. The _translation_ was referred to.)
8. To have his morters, stilles, pottes, filters, glasses, and boxes
cleane and sweete.
12. That he neither increase nor diminish the physician's bill
(prescription), nor keepe it for his own use.
14. That he peruse often his wares, that they corrupt not.
15. That he put not in _quid pro quo_ (i. e., substitute one drug for
another.) (Would not this be excellent advice to some of the
apothecaries of the present day?)
16. That he meddle only in his vocation.
18. That he delight to reade Nicolaus Mynepsus, and a few other
ancient authors.
19. That he remember his office is only ye physician's _cooke_.
20. That he use true waights and measures.
21. That he be not covetous or crafty, seeking his own lucre before
other men's help and comfort."
We may see the wisdom evinced by the author of the above advice,
especially in articles Nos. 2, 12, and 21, when we know of a druggist's
clerk of modern times, who, having stolen the physician's prescriptions
intrusted to his care, started out on borrowed capital, and, putting them
up as his own wonderful discoveries, advertised them extensively, until
his remedies, for all diseases which flesh is heir to, are now sold
throughout the entire universe!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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