The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
We intimated that "patent medicines" had added greatly to the trade. This
we shall treat of under its proper head. Many have arisen from penury to
affluence, from obscurity to renown, in the drug trade of later years; but
take away the tobacco trade, the soda fountain, and the outside patent
nostrums, and wherein would the apothecary now differ from his
predecessors?
"The Yankees bate the divil for swallowing drugs," said an Irishman.
"A paddy will take nothing but castor oil," replied the Yankee.
Yankee or Irish, English or Scotch, French or German, they all rush to the
drug store for pills, for powder, for whiskey (?), for tobacco, for patent
medicines, and the druggists flourish.
From the window near which I write this, I overlook a wholesale drug store
on a "retail street." The front windows contain only _patent medicines_,
and the flashy signs that announce their virtues. Few prescriptions are
dispensed within. Before the door, piled nearly a story high, I have just
counted ninety-eight boxes, and some barrels. There are hundreds of these
drug houses scattered over this city; and every other city of America has
its quota.
Yes, the Irishman had the right of it; "the Yankees _do_ bate the divil
for swallowing drugs." Further, it is my positive opinion that his
infernal majesty beats a good many of them by the encouragement of their
purchase; and, kind reader, if you have the ghost of a doubt of the truth
of our intimation, don't, I pray, promulgate it, but, like a wise judge,
withhold your decision until the evidence is in; until you hear our
exposition of "patent medicines."
A patient comes to the city for the purpose of consulting some experienced
physician for a certain complaint. Probably he gets a prescription, with
instructions to go to a certain respectable druggist or apothecary in town
to have the necessary medicines put up. Of course a respectable physician
knows of a reliable apothecary. The patient, in nine cases out of ten,
desires to retain the prescription, and often does so. He goes to another
drug store, more convenient, for a second quantity of the same; and now
let me ask the patient,--no matter who or where he is,--did you ever get
the same kind of medicine, in _look_, color, quantity, and
taste,--all,--the second time, from the same prescription? I have often
heard the patient complain that he could not get the same put up at the
very store where he got the original prescription compounded.
I once was called to visit a lady who was laboring under great
prostration; "sickness at the stomach," with constipation.
"What is the disease?" inquired the anxious husband, who had previously
employed two regular physicians for the case, and discharged them both.
"Nux vomica," was the reply.
I gathered up three of the vials on the table, and, taking them to the
designated apothecary's, I demanded the prescriptions corresponding with
the numbers on the vials. These were duplicates.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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