I was in a very disturbed state of mind, as anyone who has ever turned
in a doctorate thesis can well imagine. For the life of me I couldn't be
sure whether I had used _symbol_ or _token_ on line 7, sheet 23, of my
thesis, and it was a bad habit of mine to unconsciously interchange them
unpredictably, and I knew that Dr. Walters could very well vote against
acceptance of my thesis on that ground alone. Also, I had thought of a
much better opening sentence to my thesis, and was having to use will
power to keep from rushing back to the university to ask permission to
change it.
I had practically no sleep during the fourteen-hour run, and what sleep
I did have had been interrupted by violent starts of awaking with a
conviction that this or that error in the initial draft of my thesis had
not been corrected by the final draft. And then, of course, I would have
to think the thing through and recall when I had made the correction,
before I could go back to sleep.
So I was a wreck, mentally, if not physically, when I stepped off the
train onto the wooden depot platform that had certainly been built in
the Pleistocene Era, with my oxblood two-suiter firmly clutched in my
left hand.
With snorts of steam and the loud clanking of loose drives, the train
got under way again, its whistle wailing mournfully as the last empty
coach car sped past me and retreated into the distance.
As I stood there, my brain tingling with weariness, and listened to the
absolute silence of the town triumph over the last distant wail of the
train whistle, I became aware that something about Sumac was different.
What it was, I didn't know. I stood where I was a moment longer, trying
to analyze it. In some indefinable way everything looked unreal. That
was as close as I could come to it, and of course having pinned it down
that far I at once dismissed it as a trick of the mind produced by
tiredness.
I began walking. The planks of the platform were certainly real enough.
I circled the depot without going in, and started walking in the
direction of Aunt Matilda's, which was only a short eight blocks from
the depot, as I had known since I was six.
The feeling of the unreality of my surroundings persisted, and with it
came another feeling, of an invisible pressure against me. Almost a
resentment. Not only from the people, but from the houses and even the
trees.
* * * * *
Slowly I began to realize that it couldn't be entirely my imagination.
Most of the dozen or so people I passed knew me, and I remembered
suddenly that every other time I had come to Aunt Matilda's they had
stopped to talk with me and I had had to make some excuse to escape
them. Now they were behaving differently. They would look at me absently
as they might at any stranger walking from the direction of the depot,
then their eyes would light up with recognition and they would open
their lips to greet me with hearty welcome.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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