Platonic love -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Schoolboys -- England -- Fiction; Teenage boys -- England -- Fiction
Graham rose obediently, but he still lingered in the cubicle, held by
a vague yet very strong desire――desire to unburden himself of that
which filled his soul, and which a feeling of shyness kept locked up
in his breast. Then suddenly he overcame his cowardice, and kneeling
down on the floor beside the bed, he kissed his friend as he lay there
half asleep. That was all: he could not have spoken if he had tried
to: even as it was his eyes were wet with tears. But he felt a kind of
ecstasy of happiness as he stole back to his own bed, for it seemed to
him that just then, when his lips had touched Harold’s cheek, he had
given himself to him for better or worse, had given him his life, his
trust. In the morning, he knew, all would be a little different; in the
morning he should have to come back to an everyday world. But he should
be no longer alone there; oh, he should never be alone again. With his
face buried in his pillow, and his cheek still a little damp, he prayed
that all might be well, prayed that Harold might come to care for him;
and day was breaking when at last he fell asleep.
V
He awoke with a feeling of delightful joyousness, a sense that
something beautiful had happened. It was as if the summer were quite
suddenly and unexpectedly come; as if the whole world were full of
happiness and sunshine.
Then he remembered――remembered it all; and a strange passionate
tenderness filled his heart. Yes! it _was_ the summer――summer
indeed――the sun shone all around him. At the same time he felt within
him a deep and unaccountable shyness, which kept him from joining his
friend, which kept him alone with his own thoughts until morning school
was finished.
By then he had turned things over in his mind, by then he had come
even to wonder a little at his first bewilderment. It all seemed now
so natural, so only what he had awaited, had come here for. Already
a thing without beginning, without end! It was simply there――there
like the air he breathed――something that had wrapped itself about his
life, his whole being. And it slid back and back, without a break,
without a pause, back into the past. There had been no first meeting
at all; he had no need even to ask a question; there was no ambiguity
to be explained, still less an anomaly. He knew, he felt; and as day
followed day, and week followed week, he knew and felt more and more.
He listened to the undertone, listened to it growing deeper and more
melodious, becoming at times almost articulate, pointing the way; only
when he strained his ear for the word, the word at last, definite,
decisive, it died back again into silence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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