Platonic love -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Schoolboys -- England -- Fiction; Teenage boys -- England -- Fiction
All this, however, the fact that his new friends had so at once and
unreservedly welcomed him, had made it so tremendously easy for him,
seemed to Graham to be merely natural, and thus, in a sense, it
probably defeated his father’s main object in sending him to school at
all; that object being, presumably, to familiarise him with the ways of
actual life. From Graham, somehow, actual life was as far away as ever.
It was all so bright, so charming; every one was so ‘decent’ to him, so
nice; how in the world was he to know that ‘niceness’ wasn’t a thing to
be counted upon; and that he, Graham Iddesleigh, wonderfully had been
made an exception of? There seemed in fact to be hardly a boy who was
not anxious to help him, who did not take a pleasure in watching him
drop into the ways of the place; while such things as he really did
do well――swimming, diving, running, leaping, translating Greek――were
elaborately overpraised. The masters liked him also; and, what was more
significant, the older boys, who ignored his contemporaries, took an
interest in him, asked him to their studies, looked after him, wanted
him to do the school credit.
He was happy. The days passed very quickly. Nevertheless, he had not
quite learned to live the life the others lived, and there were times
when he felt homesick. One thing in particular he noticed (though he
had made too many new friends to find much leisure for regret), and
that was just that the old playmate of his dreams had ceased to visit
him, that he could no longer even call up very clearly his image,
remember what he was like. It was as if the change which had come into
his everyday world had extended on into the dusky ways of sleep, and
though he did not dwell upon it at all, yet he felt, obscurely, that
something that had been had ceased to be, and that there was a blank,
a void in his existence, which none of the many new pleasures and
interests in his life would ever be able to fill.
III
On a fallen stone, under the shelter of a rough, loosely-piled wall,
Graham sat. All around him the landscape stretched, field after field,
bleak and bare in the cold wintry light of a February afternoon,
while dark heavy clouds blew like puffs of smoke across the dull grey
sky. From time to time a passing breath of wind shivered through the
dry grass, and from time to time a pale yellowish light, like a dim
reflection of some wan remote sunshine, washed through the clouds,
brightening the country for a few moments. The boy’s chin was supported
between his hands, and he gazed out across the monotonous fields and
naked hedges, listlessly, a little sadly, thinking of home, of the
past. He felt tired; there was a dampness, a heaviness, in the air,
which weighed upon his spirit; and something of his dejection was
visible in the mere drooping of his head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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