The Gay Lord Quex: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Gay Lord Quex: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
SOPHY.
[_Putting her bag upon the table and removing her gloves._] Phew!
[_She eyes him askance, undecided, as to a plan of action. He lowers his
paper again, disconcerting her._
QUEX.
You don't feel you _ought_ to go and meet your--Mr. Valma?
SOPHY.
[_Edging towards him._] I might miss him--mightn't I?
QUEX.
Certainly--you might.
SOPHY.
Besides, it wouldn't do for me to attend upon Mrs. Jack--Mrs. Eden--all
puffing and towzelled; [_archly_] now, would it?
QUEX.
[_Resuming his reading._] You're the best judge.
SOPHY.
So I've a quarter of an hour to fill in somehow. [_A pause._] I've a
quarter of an hour to fill in somehow.
QUEX.
[_Behind his paper, beginning to be extremely bored._] Indeed?
SOPHY.
[_Quaking._] I--I wish there were some quiet little shady places to
ramble about in, here at Fauncey Court.
QUEX.
There are several.
SOPHY.
Are there?... are there?
QUEX.
[_Turning his paper._] Oh, yes, a great many.
SOPHY.
You see, I'm a stranger--
QUEX.
[_Kindly._] Well, you run along; you'll find 'em. [_She walks away
slowly, baffled. He glances at her over his paper, slightly puzzled._]
Have you seen the grotto?
SOPHY.
[_Turning sharply._] No.
QUEX.
[_Pointing towards the right._] It's in that direction.
SOPHY.
Grotto? Dark, I suppose, and lonelyish?
QUEX.
You said you desired shade and quiet.
SOPHY.
Yes, but not darkness. Fancy me in a grotto all by myself ... by
myself...!
QUEX.
[_Behind his paper again._] I'm afraid I have no further suggestion to
offer.
[_There is another pause; then her face lights up, and she comes down to
him swiftly._
SOPHY.
[_Close to him._] Show me your nails, my lord.
QUEX.
[_Lowering his paper._] My nails?
SOPHY.
[_Taking his hand and examining it._] Excuse me. Oh, my lord, for shame!
QUEX.
You take exception to them?
SOPHY.
This is hacking, not cutting. You ought never to be allowed within a
mile of a pair of scissors.
QUEX.
[_Looking at his other hand._] Oh, come! they're hardly as bad as all
that.
SOPHY
[_Examining that hand also._] Ha, ha, ha!
QUEX.
[_Rising, somewhat abashed._] Ha! I confess I am a little unskilful at
such operations.
SOPHY.
No gentleman should trust to himself where his nails are concerned. Why,
a man's hand has lost him a young lady's affections before this! I've
heard of heaps of cases where matches have been broken off--
QUEX.
[_Putting his hands behind him, smiling._] Really? the results of
manicure are more far-reaching than I had imagined.
SOPHY.
You, see, my lord, when a man's courting he is free to look his young
lady in the face for as long as he chooses; it's considered proper and
attentive. But the girl is expected to drop _her_ eyes, and then--what
has _she_ to look at? Why, a well-trimmed hand or an ugly one. [_Taking
off her rings._] Now then, I'll do wonders for you in ten minutes.
QUEX.
Thank you; I am not going indoors just yet.
SOPHY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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