The Gay Lord Quex: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Gay Lord Quex: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
No need to go indoors. [_Depositing her rings upon the table and opening
her bag._] I've got my bag here, with all my tools--see!
QUEX.
Ah, but I won't trouble you this evening. Another occasion--
SOPHY.
[_Arranging her manicure instruments, &c., upon the table._] No trouble
at all, my lord--quite an honour. [_Indicating the stone bench._] Please
sit down there. [_Producing a little brass bowl._] Water--?
[_She runs to the fountain and fills her bowl from its basin._
QUEX.
[_Crossing, hesitatingly, to the right--looking at his nails and
speaking in a formal manner._] You have been bidden to Fauncey Court for
rest and relaxation, Miss Fullgarney; it is most obliging of you to
allow your pleasure to be disturbed in this way.
SOPHY.
[_Returning to him._] Oh, don't say that, my lord. [_Putting the bowl on
the table and dragging the garden-chair forward to face him._] Business
_is_ a pleasure, sometimes.
[_Her close proximity to him forces him back upon the bench._
QUEX.
[_Seated--stiffly._] You must, at least, let me open an account at your
excellent establishment.
SOPHY.
Not I. [_Seated--taking his right hand._] One may work occasionally for
love, I should hope? [_archly_] ha, ha! just for love, eh?
QUEX
[_Uncomfortably._] No, no, I couldn't permit it--I couldn't permit it.
SOPHY.
[_Holding his hand almost caressingly._] Well, well! we'll see--we'll
see. [_She clips his nails briskly and methodically. While she does so
she again hums a song, looking up at him at intervals enticingly, under
her lashes. Breaking off in her song._] My goodness! what a smooth,
young hand you have!
QUEX.
[_His discomfort increasing._] Er--indeed?
SOPHY.
Many a man of six-and-twenty would be glad to own such hands, I can tell
you. [_Patting his hand reprovingly._] Keep still! [_It is now his turn
to hum a song, which he does, under his breath, to disguise his
embarrassment. She looks up at him._] But then, you're an awfully young
man for your age, in every way, aren't you?
QUEX.
[_Gazing at the sky._] Oh, I don't know about that.
SOPHY.
[_Slyly._] You _do_ know. [_Wagging her head at him._] You _do_ know.
QUEX.
[_Relaxing slightly._] It may be so, of course, without one's being
conscious of it.
SOPHY.
_May_ be so! ah, ha! not conscious of it! ho! [_Slapping his hand again,
soundly._] Artful!
QUEX.
[_Flattered and amused._] No, no, I assure you! ha, ha!
[_They laugh together. His constraint gradually diminishes. After
shaking some liquid soap from a bottle into the bowl, she places the
bowl beside him on the bench._
SOPHY.
[_While doing this._] My young ladies at a-hundred-and-eighty-five all
agree with me about you.
QUEX.
Do they?
SOPHY.
Yes, do they!
QUEX.
Your young ladies?
SOPHY.
My girls.
QUEX.
Ha, ha, ha! And what terrible pronouncement has
a-hundred-and-eighty-five to pass upon me?
SOPHY.
Seven-and-thirty, _you_ look--not a day older; that's what _we_ say.
There, dip your fingers in that, do!
QUEX.
Into this?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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