The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Where’s that copy of Tennyson you gave me? I left it—ah, here it is.
Well, see you later!”
“Wait! What are you going to do?”
“Oh, that girl I told you about,” said Sam making for the door. “She
wants me to read Tennyson to her on the upper deck.”
“Tennyson?”
“Yes.”
“On the upper deck?”
“Yes.”
“This is the end,” said Eustace Hignett, turning his face to the wall.
Sam raced up the companion-way as far as it went; then, going out on
deck, climbed a flight of steps and found himself in the only part of
the ship which was ever even comparatively private. The main herd of
passengers preferred the promenade deck, two layers below.
He threaded his way through a maze of boats, ropes, and curious-shaped
steel structures which the architect of the ship seemed to have tacked
on at the last moment in a spirit of sheer exuberance. Above him
towered one of the funnels, before him a long, slender mast. He hurried
on, and presently came upon Billie sitting on a garden seat, backed by
the white roof of the smoke-room; beside this was a small deck which
seemed to have lost its way and strayed up here all by itself. It was
the deck on which one could occasionally see the patients playing an
odd game with long sticks and bits of wood—not shuffleboard but
something even lower in the mental scale. This morning, however, the
devotees of this pastime were apparently under proper restraint, for
the deck was empty.
“This is jolly,” he said sitting down beside the girl and drawing a
deep breath of satisfaction.
“Yes, I love this deck. It’s so peaceful.”
“It’s the only part of the ship where you can be reasonably sure of not
meeting stout men in flannels and nautical caps. An ocean voyage always
makes me wish that I had a private yacht.”
“It would be nice.”
“A private yacht,” repeated Sam, sliding a trifle closer. “We would
sail about, visiting desert islands which lay like jewels in the heart
of tropic seas.”
“We?”
“Most certainly we. It wouldn’t be any fun if you were not there.”
“That’s very complimentary.”
“Well, it wouldn’t. I’m not fond of girls as a rule....”
“Oh, aren’t you?”
“No!” said Sam decidedly. It was a point which he wished to make clear
at the outset. “Not at all fond. My friends have often remarked upon
it. A palmist once told me that I had one of those rare spiritual
natures which cannot be satisfied with substitutes but must seek and
seek till they find their soul-mate. When other men all round me were
frittering away their emotions in idle flirtations which did not touch
their deeper natures, I was ... I was ... well, I wasn’t, if you see
what I mean.”
“Oh, you wasn’t ... weren’t?”
“No. Some day I knew I should meet the only girl I could possibly love,
and then I would pour out upon her the stored-up devotion of a
lifetime, lay an unblemished heart at her feet, fold her in my arms and
say ‘At last!’”
“How jolly for her. Like having a circus all to oneself.”
“Well, yes,” said Sam after a momentary pause.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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