The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
There was a sinking of hearts as Eustace Hignett moved down the room
and took his place at the piano. A pianist! This argued more singing.
The more pessimistic began to fear that the imitation was going to be
one of those imitations of well-known opera artistes which, though
rare, do occasionally add to the horrors of ships’ concerts. They
stared at Hignett apprehensively. There seemed to be something ominous
in the man’s very aspect. His face was very pale and set, the face of
one approaching a task at which his humanity shudders. They could not
know that the pallor of Eustace Hignett was due entirely to the slight
tremor which, even on the calmest nights, the engines of an ocean liner
produce in the flooring of a dining saloon, and to that faint, yet
well-defined, smell of cooked meats which clings to a room where a
great many people have recently been eating a great many meals. A few
beads of cold perspiration were clinging to Eustace Hignett’s brow. He
looked straight before him with unseeing eyes. He was thinking hard of
the Sahara.
So tense was Eustace’s concentration that he did not see Billie
Bennett, seated in the front row. Billie had watched him enter with a
little thrill of embarrassment. She wished that she had been content
with one of the seats at the back. But Jane Hubbard had insisted on the
front row. She always had a front-row seat at witch dances in Africa,
and the thing had become a habit.
In order to avoid recognition for as long as possible, Billie now put
up her fan and turned to Jane. She was surprised to see that her friend
was staring eagerly before her with a fixity almost equal to that of
Eustace. Under her breath she muttered an exclamation of surprise in
one of the lesser-known dialects of Northern Nigeria.
“Billie!” she whispered sharply.
“What _is_ the matter, Jane?”
“Who is that man at the piano? Do you know him?”
“As a matter of fact, I do,” said Billie. “His name is Hignett. Why?”
“It’s the man I met on the Subway!” She breathed a sigh. “Poor little
fellow, how miserable he looks!”
At this moment their conversation was interrupted. Eustace Hignett,
pulling himself together with a painful effort, raised his hands and
struck a crashing chord, and, as he did so, there appeared through the
door at the far end of the saloon a figure at the sight of which the
entire audience started convulsively with the feeling that a worse
thing had befallen them than even they had looked for.
The figure was richly clad in some scarlet material. Its face was a
grisly black and below the nose appeared what seemed a horrible gash.
It advanced towards them, smoking a cigar.
“Hullo, Ernest,” it said.
And then it seemed to pause expectantly, as though desiring some reply.
Dead silence reigned in the saloon.
“Hullo, Ernest!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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