The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Those nearest the piano—and nobody more quickly than Jane Hubbard—now
observed that the white face of the man on the stool had grown whiter
still. His eyes gazed out glassily from under his damp brow. He looked
like a man who was seeing some ghastly sight. The audience sympathised
with him. They felt like that, too.
In all human plans there is ever some slight hitch, some little
miscalculation which just makes all the difference. A moment’s thought
should have told Eustace Hignett that a half-smoked cigar was one of
the essential properties to any imitation of the eminent Mr. Tinney;
but he had completely overlooked the fact. The cigar came as an
absolute surprise to him and it could not have affected him more
powerfully if it had been a voice from the tomb. He stared at it
pallidly, like Macbeth at the ghost of Banquo. It was a strong, lively
young cigar, and its curling smoke played lightly about his nostrils.
His jaw fell. His eyes protruded. He looked for a long moment like one
of those deep-sea fishes concerning which the recent lecturer had
spoken so searchingly. Then with the cry of a stricken animal, he
bounded from his seat and fled for the deck.
There was a rustle at Billie’s side as Jane Hubbard rose and followed
him. Jane was deeply stirred. Even as he sat, looking so pale and
piteous, at the piano, her big heart had gone out to him, and now, in
his moment of anguish, he seemed to bring to the surface everything
that was best and manliest in her nature. Thrusting aside with one
sweep of her powerful arm a steward who happened to be between her and
the door, she raced in pursuit.
Sam Marlowe had watched his cousin’s dash for the open with a
consternation so complete that his senses seemed to have left him. A
general, deserted by his men on some stricken field, might have felt
something akin to his emotion. Of all the learned professions, the
imitation of Mr. Frank Tinney is the one which can least easily be
carried through single-handed. The man at the piano, the leader of the
orchestra, is essential. He is the life-blood of the entertainment.
Without him, nothing can be done.
For an instant Sam stood there, gaping blankly. Then the open door of
the saloon seemed to beckon an invitation. He made for it, reached it,
passed through it. That concluded his efforts in aid of the Seamen’s
Orphans and Widows.
The spell which had lain on the audience broke. This imitation seemed
to them to possess in an extraordinary measure the one quality which
renders amateur imitations tolerable, that of brevity. They had seen
many amateur imitations, but never one as short as this. The saloon
echoed with their applause.
It brought no balm to Samuel Marlowe. He did not hear it. He had fled
for refuge to his state-room and was lying in the lower berth, chewing
the pillow, a soul in torment.
CHAPTER VII.
SUNDERED HEARTS
There was a tap at the door. Sam sat up dizzily. He had lost all count
of time.
“Who’s that?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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