The Girl Who Had NothingWilliamson, A. M. (Alice Muriel)
General
The Girl Who Had Nothing
Williamson, A. M. (Alice Muriel)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
The story broke off short between Joan’s little white teeth, which
suddenly shut together with a click. This did not signify much, as far
as the Boyle baby was concerned, for Joan unconsciously wove fairy tales
more for her own pleasure than that of her companion, and as a matter of
fact the warmth of the afternoon sunshine had acted as "juice of poppy
and mandragora" upon Minnie’s brain. Her small, primrose-yellow head
was nodding, and she was unaware that the story had ended abruptly just
as the princess was beguiling the dragon, and that a girl almost as fine
as the princess herself was approaching.
The new-comer was about twelve or thirteen, and she was more exquisitely
dressed than any child Joan remembered to have met. Perhaps, if the
apparition had been a good deal younger or older, the lodging-house
drudge would not have observed so keenly, or realised with a quick stab
of passionate pain the illimitable gulf dividing lives. But here was a
girl of her own age, her own height, her own needs and capacities, and
yet--the difference!
It struck her like a thrust of some thin, delicate surgical instrument
which could inflict anguish, yet leave no trace. Joan’s whole life was
spent in dreaming; without the dreams, existence at 12, Seafoam Terrace
would not have been tolerable to a young creature with the nerves of a
racehorse and the imagination of a Scheherazade. She lived practically
a double life within herself, but never until this moment had she been
consciously jealous of the happier fate of a fellow-creature.
In looking from the shelter where she sat in shadow, at the other girl
who walked in sunshine, she knew the crunching pain of the monster’s
fangs.
The other girl had long, fair hair; she wore white muslin, foaming with
lace frills, white silk stockings, and shoes of white suede. Her face
was shaded by a great, rose-crowned, leghorn hat, which flopped into
soft curves and made a picture of small features which without it might
have seemed insignificant. The magnetism that was in Joan Carthew’s
eyes forced the girl to turn and throw a glance as she passed at the
shabby child in faded brown serge (a frock altered from a discarded one
of Mrs. Boyle’s) who sat huddled in the shelter, with a tawdrily dressed
baby asleep by her side. The glance had all the primitive, merciless
disdain of a sleek, fortunate young animal for a miserable, hunted one,
and Joan felt the meaning of it in her soul.
"Why should she have everything and I nothing?" was the old-new question
which shaped itself wordlessly in the child’s brain. "She looks at me as
if I were a rat. I’m not a rat! I’m as good as she is, if I had her
clothes. I’m cleverer, and prettier, too, I know I am--heaps and heaps.
Oh! I want to be like her, only better--I must be--I shall!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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