TOURIST. Think of it, children. A man is about to fall down to his death and he is bothering about his spinal column. (There is a noise. A man in a white vest, very much frightened, enters, almost dragged by angry tourists. He smiles, bows on all sides, stretches out his arms, now running forward as he is pushed, now trying to escape in the crowd, but is seized and pulled again.) VOICES. A bare-faced deception! It is an outrage. Policeman, policeman, he must be taught a lesson! OTHER VOICES. What is it? What deception? What is it all about? They have caught a thief! THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST (bowing and smiling). It's a joke, ladies and gentlemen, a joke, that's all. The people were bored, so I wanted to provide a little amusement for them. UNKNOWN MAN (angrily). Boss! THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Wait a while, wait a while. UNKNOWN MAN. Do you expect me to stay here until the Second Advent? The agreement was till twelve o'clock. What time is it now? TALL TOURIST (indignantly). Do you hear, ladies and gentlemen? This scoundrel, this man here in the white vest hired that other scoundrel up there and just simply tied him to the rock. VOICES. Is he tied? TALL TOURIST. Yes, he is tied and he can't fall. We are excited and worrying, but he couldn't fall even if he tried. UNKNOWN MAN. What else do you want? Do you think I am going to break my neck for your measly ten dollars? Boss, I can't stand it any more. One man wanted to shoot me. The pastor preached me for two hours. This is not in the agreement. ALECK. Father, I told you that Baedecker lies. You believe everything anybody tells you and drag us about without eating. MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. My only desire was to amuse the people. MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? I don't understand a thing. Why isn't he going to fall? Who, then, is going to fall? TOURIST. I don't understand a thing either. Of course he's got to fall! JAMES. You never understand anything, father. Weren't you told that he's tied to the rock? ALECK. You can't convince him. He loves every Baedecker more than his own children. JAMES. A nice father! TOURIST. Silence! MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He must fall. TALL TOURIST. The idea! What a deception. You'll have to explain this. MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but wishing to accommodate you--give you a few hours of pleasant excitement--elevate your spirits--inspire you with altruistic sentiments-- ENGLISHMAN. Is the café yours? MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Yes. ENGLISHMAN. And is the hotel below also yours? GENTLEMAN. Yes. The people were bored-- CORRESPONDENT (writing). The proprietor of the café, desiring to increase his profits from the sale of alcoholic beverages, exploits the best human sentiments.--The people's indignation-- UNKNOWN MAN (angrily). Boss, will you have me taken off at once or won't you?