We might have gone out to the pictures to-night, as Mother said. MR PERKINS Your young man might ’ave come and found you out. MISS PERKINS You know he’s engaged in the evenings. MR PERKINS Yes, and what at? MISS PERKINS Never mind! MRS PERKINS I do think, Polly, that he ought to be a bit more open with you. What _does_ he do? MR PERKINS Ay; what does Albert Watkins do? MISS PERKINS Never you mind! MRS PERKINS ’E’s never told ’er. MR PERKINS I ’ope it’s nothin’ to be ashamed of. MISS PERKINS P’raps I know more than you think. MRS PERKINS ’As ’e said? MISS PERKINS It’s confidential. MR PERKINS Oh! I know that tale. MRS PERKINS Well, Polly’s got ’er young man and you’ve got your business an’ out all day seein’ people. What ’ave I got? MR PERKINS Well, what should y’ ’ave? What does any woman ’ave? I dunno what you’re botherin’ about. Y’ ’ad a week at Margate this year. MRS PERKINS (_Derisively_.) ’Ome from ’ome! MR PERKINS A good woman ought to like ’er ’ome. MRS PERKINS I never said I didn’t like it. MR PERKINS Well---- MRS PERKINS ’Ome’s a place to come back to. MISS PERKINS Mother’s romantic. That’s what she is. MRS PERKINS What _is_ that, Polly? It’s a word I never rightly---- MR PERKINS Romantic! At ’er age! MRS PERKINS You know what it is, do y’? MR PERKINS It’s penny dreadfuls and the pictures and gassin’ about love and the deep blue sea. MRS PERKINS Well, y’ might do worse. MR PERKINS Whatever’s come over ’er? MRS PERKINS I’ve always thought I should like to travel. MISS PERKINS (_At her puzzle._) I think there’s a bit missing. MRS PERKINS Eh? A bit missin’? That’s the way with me; there’s always bin a bit missin’. MR PERKINS I dunno why y’re startin’ like this now. Y’ve ’ad all these years to settle down in. What’s come over yer? MRS PERKINS Eh! Don’t ask me. I think ’er Albert’s comin’ about ’as unsettled me. MISS PERKINS Albert! MRS PERKINS Well, I see ’im an’ you and I think what might ’a’ been. MR PERKINS What’s that? MRS PERKINS Well, I was young onct. MR PERKINS But y’re not now. MRS PERKINS You’ve no call to throw it in m’ teeth. MR PERKINS Teeth indeed! MRS PERKINS Don’t be insultin’, Mr Perkins. MR PERKINS I wasn’t bein’. MRS PERKINS Yes, y’ was. MISS PERKINS I don’t see why Albert should unsettle you. MRS PERKINS If I was you I’d want to know ’ow ’e spends ’is evenings. MISS PERKINS It’s no business of yours, Ma. MR PERKINS It’ll be some bus’ness of mine. I think it’s about time Albert spoke to me. MISS PERKINS Spoke to you? MR PERKINS Placed ’is position an’ prospects before me. MISS PERKINS Well, I believe he’s a confidential agent. MRS PERKINS A what! MR PERKINS What sort of a’ agent? MISS PERKINS It’s confidential--or financial p’raps. MR PERKINS He’s kiddin’ yer. MRS PERKINS Do they work at night? MISS PERKINS I’ve always understood that Rothschilds and people like that did this business at parties--on the quiet.