Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
“My brother is with me,” I said, “but he will be gone soon.” Shepherd’s
Market was creeping out into the dawn, draped and mysterious with the
shadows of night. A window here and there was alight against the dark
pile of Camelot House. The great car stood like a bruise against the
passage of eternity, dawn fought for it, night draped it, and the silver
stork flew unseen. The small noises of dawn stirred sharply in the
night, and the lamps wore pale, tired faces. “Summer’s well on,” said
the policeman.
I re-entered the sitting-room, saying impersonally: “I’m afraid you must
go, as....” The room was empty. The figure that had been carved in stone
was wrapped in air. The disorder of the room lay jeering at me on the
dim carpet of the dawn. It was all like a purposeless limbo stretched
between the night and the day, the room, my life, hers, everything, the
strong, the silly and the brave. The hundreds of books lay in soiled
confusion on the floor, the wisdom of the world that has gone to the
making of the soiled nothings that we are.
I was seized by a catholic anger against the woman. Through all the
disenchantments of youth, despite the contagious impurities of life, in
defiance of the crimes against love that we call love, I had kept
romance for my ghostly companion. Romance was more than a silly lithe
goddess coming down from a marble column. Romance was more than the
licence to be shameless with clouded eyes. Romance did not steal through
the fleshy portals of the heart, did not shiver at a Judas kiss, did not
coil white trembling limbs into the puerile lusts of the mind. Romance
was all that and was as much greater than that as a religion is greater
than a church. To romance, which was the ultimate vision of commonsense,
sex, as sex, was the most colossal bore that had ever distracted man
from his heritage. And she would palm a facet of this colossal bore off
on me! She would have me barter my ghostly companion for the fall of an
emerald, she would invade my thoughts, perhaps my life, in exchange for
a puny pleasure that needs love to exalt it above the matchless
silliness of what, with an excessive zeal for scientific classification,
is known to our civilisation as the sexual act.
I picked up the emerald from the floor, and it smiled in the palm of my
hand.
In the dusk of the bedroom, she lay coiled on the bed. The hush of her
breathing was no more than the trembling servant of the silence. Then
she coughed a small cigarette cough. It was the usual cough, and gave
me back my confidence. “Iris Storm!” I said, but I wondered if I had
spoken, the frail silence was so undisturbed. She was asleep.
Perhaps it was then that I realised that she was beautiful. She was
asleep. Could any but the shape of beauty dare to wear that
impertinence! She lay on her side, she lay anyhow. The green hat was
gone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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