Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
neighbour or tenant, to introduce themselves to him. A terrible
acquaintance, not so much from the sufferings that it causes as from the
strange novelty of the definite restriction which it imposes upon life.
A woman sees herself dying, in these cases not at the actual moment of
death but months, sometimes years before, when death has hideously come
to dwell in her. The sufferer makes the acquaintance of the stranger
whom she hears coming and going in her brain. She does not know him by
sight, it is true, but from the sounds which she hears him regularly
make she can form an idea of his habits. Is he a criminal? One morning,
she can no longer hear him. He has gone. Ah! If it were only for ever!
In the evening he has returned. What are his plans? Her specialist, put
to the question, like an adored mistress, replies with avowals that one
day are believed, another day fail to convince her. Or rather it is not
the mistress’s part but that of the servants one interrogates that the
doctor plays. They are only third parties. The person whom we press for
an answer, whom we suspect of being about to play us false, is life
itself, and although we feel her to be no longer the same we believe in
her still or at least remain undecided until the day on which she
finally abandons us.
I helped my grandmother into Professor E——’s lift and a moment later he
came to us and took us into his consulting room. But there, busy as he
was, his bombastic manner changed, such is the force of habit; for his
habit was to be friendly, that is to say lively with his patients. Since
he knew that my grandmother was a great reader, and was himself one
also, he devoted the first few minutes to quoting various favourite
passages of poetry appropriate to the glorious summer weather. He had
placed her in an armchair and himself with his back to the light so as
to have a good view of her. His examination was minute and thorough,
even obliging me at one moment to leave the room. He continued it after
my return, then, having finished, went on, although the quarter of an
hour was almost at an end, repeating various quotations to my
grandmother. He even made a few jokes, which were witty enough, though I
should have preferred to hear them on some other occasion, but which
completely reassured me by the tone of amusement in which he uttered
them. I then remembered that M. Fallières, the President of the Senate,
had, many years earlier, had a false seizure, and that to the
consternation of his political rivals he had returned a few days later
to his duties and had begun, it was said, his preparations for a more or
less remote succession to the Presidency of the Republic. My confidence
in my grandmother’s prompt recovery was all the more complete in that,
just as I was recalling the example of M. Fallières, I was distracted
from following up the similarity by a shout of laughter, which served as
conclusion to one of the Professor’s jokes. After which he took out his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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