Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
reflexions with lines from Lamartine, just as he might have said “Who
laughs last, laughs longest!” or merely “How are you keeping?”
To ease her pain my grandmother was given morphine. Unfortunately, if
this relieved her in other ways, it increased the quantity of albumen.
The blows which we aimed at the wicked ogre who had taken up his abode
in my grandmother were always wide of the mark, and it was she, her poor
interposed body that had to bear them, without her ever uttering more
than a faint groan by way of complaint. And the pain that we caused her
found no compensation in a benefit which we were unable to give her. The
savage ogre whom we were anxious to exterminate we barely succeeded in
touching, and all we did was to enrage him still further, and possibly
hasten the moment at which he would devour his luckless captive. On
certain days when the discharge of albumen had been excessive Cottard,
after some hesitation, stopped the morphine. In this man, so
insignificant, so common, there was, in these brief moments in which he
deliberated, in which the relative dangers of one and another course of
treatment presented themselves alternately to his mind until he arrived
at a decision, the same sort of greatness as in a general who, vulgar in
all the rest of his life, is a great strategist, and in an hour of
peril, after a moment’s reflexion, decides upon what is from the
military point of view the wisest course, and gives the order: “Advance
eastwards.” Medically, however little hope there might be of setting any
limit to this attack of uraemia, it did not do to tire the kidneys. But,
on the other hand, when my grandmother did not have morphine, her pain
became unbearable; she perpetually attempted a certain movement which it
was difficult for her to perform without groaning. To a great extent,
suffering is a sort of need felt by the organism to make itself familiar
with a new state, which makes it uneasy, to adapt its sensibility to
that state. We can discern this origin of pain in the case of certain
inconveniences which are not such for everyone. Into a room filled with
a pungent smoke two men of a coarse fibre will come and attend to their
business; a third, more highly strung, will betray an incessant
discomfort. His nostrils will continue to sniff anxiously the odour he
ought, one would say, to try not to notice but will keep on attempting
to attach, by a more exact apprehension of it, to his troubled sense of
smell. One consequence of which may well be that his intense
preoccupation will prevent him from complaining of a toothache. When my
grandmother was in pain the sweat trickled over the pink expanse of her
brow, glueing to it her white locks, and if she thought that none of us
was in the room she would cry out: “Oh, it’s dreadful!” but if she
caught sight of my mother, at once she employed all her energy in
banishing from her face every sign of pain, or—an alternative
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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