Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
To tell the truth, I attached no importance to this possibility of
hearing Berma which, a few years earlier, had plunged me in such a state
of agitation. And it was not without a sense of melancholy that I
realised the fact of my indifference to what at one time I had put
before health, comfort, everything. It was not that there had been any
slackening of my desire for an opportunity to contemplate close at hand
the precious particles of reality of which my imagination caught a
broken glimpse. But my imagination no longer placed these in the diction
of a great actress; since my visits to Elstir, it was on certain
tapestries, certain modern paintings that I had brought to bear the
inner faith I had once had in this acting, in this tragic art of Berma;
my faith, my desire, no longer coming forward to pay incessant worship
to the diction, the attitudes of Berma, the counterpart that I possessed
of them in my heart had gradually perished, like those other
counterparts of the dead in ancient Egypt which had to be fed
continually in order to maintain their originals in eternal life. This
art had become a feeble, tawdry thing. No deep-lying soul inhabited it
any more.
That evening, as, armed with the ticket my father had received from his
friend, I was climbing the grand staircase of the Opera, I saw in front
of me a man whom I took at first for M. de Charlus, whose bearing he
had; when he turned his head to ask some question of one of the staff I
saw that I had been mistaken, but I had no hesitation in placing the
stranger in the same class of society, from the way not only in which he
was dressed but in which he spoke to the man who took the tickets and to
the box-openers who were keeping him waiting. For, apart from personal
details of similarity, there was still at this period between any smart
and wealthy man of that section of the nobility and any smart and
wealthy man of the world of finance or “big business” a strongly marked
difference. Where one of the latter would have thought he was giving
proof of his exclusiveness by adopting a sharp, haughty tone in speaking
to an inferior, the great gentleman, affable, pleasant, smiling, had the
air of considering, practising an affectation of humility and patience,
a pretence of being just one of the audience, as a privilege of his good
breeding. It is quite likely that, on seeing him thus dissemble behind a
smile overflowing with good nature the barred threshold of the little
world apart which he carried in his person, more than one wealthy
banker’s son, entering the theatre at that moment, would have taken this
great gentleman for a person of no importance if he had not remarked in
him an astonishing resemblance to the portrait that had recently
appeared in the illustrated papers of a nephew of the Austrian Emperor,
the Prince of Saxony, who happened to be in Paris at the time. I knew
him to be a great friend of the Guermantes. As I reached the attendant I
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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