Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
work, to begin a book, the world appeared to me now a pleasanter place
to live in, life a more interesting experience now that I had learned
that the streets of Paris, like the roads round Balbec, were aflower
with those unknown beauties whom I had so often sought to evoke from the
woods of Méséglise, each one of whom aroused a sensual longing which she
alone appeared capable of assuaging.
On coming home from the Opéra-Comique I had added for next morning to
the list of those which for some days past I had been hoping to meet
again the form of Mme. de Guermantes, tall, with her high-piled crown of
silky, golden hair; with the kindness promised me in the smile which she
had directed at me from her cousin’s box. I would follow the course
which Françoise had told me that the Duchess generally took, and I would
try at the same time, in the hope of meeting two girls whom I had seen a
few days earlier, not to miss the break-up of their respective class and
catechism. But in the mean time, ever and again, the scintillating smile
of Mme. de Guermantes, the pleasant sensation it had given me returned.
And without exactly knowing what I was doing, I tried to find a place
for them (as a woman studies the possible effect on her dress of some
set of jewelled buttons that have just been given her) beside the
romantic ideas which I had long held and which Albertine’s coldness,
Gisèle’s premature departure, and before them my deliberate and too long
sustained separation from Gilberte had set free (the idea, for instance
of being loved by a woman, of having a life in common with her); next,
it had been the image of one or other of the two girls seen in the
street that I brought into relation with those ideas, to which
immediately afterwards I was trying to adapt my memory of the Duchess.
Compared with those ideas my memory of Mme. de Guermantes at the
Opéra-Comique was a very little thing, a tiny star twinkling beside the
long tail of a blazing comet; moreover I had been quite familiar with
the ideas long before I came to know Mme. de Guermantes; my memory of
her, on the contrary, I possessed but imperfectly; every now and then it
escaped me; it was during the hours when, from floating vaguely in my
mind in the same way as the images of various other pretty women, it
passed gradually into a unique and definite association—exclusive of
every other feminine form—with those romantic ideas of so much longer
standing than itself, it was during those few hours in which I
remembered it most clearly that I ought to have taken steps to find out
exactly what it was; but I did not then know the importance which it was
to assume for me; it was pleasant merely as a first private meeting with
Mme. de Guermantes inside myself, it was the first, the only accurate
sketch, the only one taken from life, the only one that was really Mme.
de Guermantes; during the few hours in which I was fortunate enough to
retain it without having the sense to pay it any attention, it must all
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