the apples again. One or more of the children was always ill, nor was
any ever well. They were untidy, graceless, and querulous, in looks
resembling their mother, whose face seemed to have grown and shaped
itself to music--a music that would set the teeth of a corpse on edge.
She was never at the end of her work, but often of her strength. She
was cruel to all in her impatience, and in her swift, giddy remorse
cruel to herself also. She seemed to love and enjoy nothing, yet she
would not leave the house on any account, and seldom her work. Whatever
she did she could not ruffle her husband or wring from him anything but
a smile and a slow, kind sentence. Not that he was content, or dull,
or made of lead or wood. He would have liked to dress his wife and
children as prettily as they could choose, to ride easily everywhere,
anywhere, all over the world if it pleased them, seeing, hearing,
tasting nothing but what they thought best on earth. But save in verse
he never did so. It was one of his pains that seldom more than once or
twice a year came the mood for doing what seemed to him the highest
he could, namely, write verses. Also he had bad health; his pipe, of
the smallest size, half filled with the most harmless and tasteless
tobacco, lay cold on the bureau, just tasted and then allowed to go
out. Ale he loved, partly for its own sake, partly to please Aurelius,
but it did not love him. It was one of the jokes concerning him, that
he could not stand the cold of his morning bath unless he repeated the
words,
“Up with me, up with me, into the sky,
For thy song, lark, is strong.”
He said them rapidly, and in an agony of solemnity, as he squeezed the
sponge, and though this fact had become very widely known indeed, he
did not give up the habit. Had he given up every kind of food condemned
by himself or his doctors, he would have lived solely on love in that
dark, that cold, that dead room. He was fond of company, but he knew
nobody in all those thronged streets, unless it was an old woman or
two, and their decrepit, needy husbands. He was a farmer’s son, and
knew little more of London than Ann, since he had moved into Abbey
Road shortly after his first child was born, and had not been able to
extricate himself from the books and furniture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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