The Happy Hypocrite: A Fairy Tale for Tired MenBeerbohm, Max, Sir
Science
The Happy Hypocrite: A Fairy Tale for Tired Men
Beerbohm, Max, Sir
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction; Love stories; Masks -- Fiction
"I am almost afraid of you," she said. "You must despise me so. Are you
so good that you deny yourself all the vanity and pleasure that most
people love? It is wonderful not to know what buns are! The round,
brown, shiny cakes, with little raisins in them, are buns."
So he bought two beautiful buns, and they sat together in the shop,
eating them. Jenny bit hers rather diffidently, but was reassured when
he said that they must have buns very often in the cottage. Yes! he, the
famous toper and _gourmet_ of St. James's, relished this homely fare, as
it passed through the insensible lips of his mask to the palate. He
seemed to rise, from the consumption of his bun, a better man.
But there was no time to lose now. It was already past two o'clock. So
he got a chaise from the inn opposite the pastry-shop, and they were
swiftly driven to Doctors' Commons. There he purchased a special
licence. When the clerk asked him to write his name upon it, he
hesitated. What name should he assume? Under a mask he had wooed this
girl, under an unreal name he must make her his bride. He loathed
himself for a trickster. He had vilely stolen from her the love she
would not give him. Even now, should he not confess himself the man
whose face had frightened her, and go his way? And yet, surely, it was
not just that he, whose soul was transfigured, should bear his old name.
Surely George Hell was dead, and his name had died with him. So he
dipped a pen in the ink and wrote "George Heaven," for want of a better
name. And Jenny wrote "Jenny Mere" beneath it.
An hour later they were married according to the simple rites of a dear
little registry-office in Covent Garden.
And in the cool evening they went home.
IV
In the cottage that had been the woodman's they had a wonderful
honeymoon. No king and queen in any palace of gold were happier than
they. For them their tiny cottage was a palace, and the flowers that
filled the garden were their courtiers. Long and careless and full of
kisses were the days of their reign.
Sometimes, indeed, strange dreams troubled Lord George's sleep. Once he
dreamed that he stood knocking and knocking at the great door of a
castle. It was a bitter night. The frost enveloped him. No one came.
Presently he heard a footstep in the hall beyond, and a pair of
frightened eyes peered at him through the grill. Jenny was scanning his
face. She would not open to him. With tears and wild words he besought
her, but she would not open to him. Then, very stealthily he crept round
the castle and found a small casement in the wall. It was open. He
climbed swiftly, quietly, through it. In the darkness of the room some
one ran to him and kissed him gladly. It was Jenny. With a cry of joy
and shame he awoke. By his side lay Jenny, sleeping like a little child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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