The Happy Hypocrite: A Fairy Tale for Tired MenBeerbohm, Max, Sir
Science
The Happy Hypocrite: A Fairy Tale for Tired Men
Beerbohm, Max, Sir
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction; Love stories; Masks -- Fiction
It is true that his Lordship was a non-smoker--a negative virtue,
certainly, and due, even that, I fear, to the fashion of the day--but
there the list of his good qualities comes to an abrupt conclusion. He
loved with an insatiable love the town and the pleasures of the town,
whilst the ennobling influences of our English lakes were quite unknown
to him. He used to boast that he had not seen a buttercup for twenty
years, and once he called the country "a Fool's Paradise." London was
the only place marked on the map of his mind. London gave him all he
wished for. Is it not extraordinary to think that he had never spent a
happy day nor a day of any kind in Follard Chase, that desirable mansion
in Herts, which he had won from Sir Follard Follard, by a chuck of the
dice, at Boodle's, on his seventeenth birthday? Always cynical and
unkind, he had refused to give the broken baronet his "revenge." Always
unkind and insolent, he had offered to instal him in the lodge--an offer
which was, after a little hesitation, accepted. "On my soul, the man's
place is a sinecure," Lord George would say; "he never has to open the
gate to me."[1] So rust has covered the great iron gates of Follard
Chase, and moss had covered its paths. The deer browsed upon its
terraces. There were only wild flowers anywhere. Deep down among the
weeds and water-lilies of the little stone-rimmed pond he had looked
down upon, lay the marble faun, as he had fallen.
[Footnote 1: _Lord Coleraine's Correspondence_, page 101.]
Of all the sins of his Lordship's life surely not one was more wanton
than his neglect of Follard Chase. Some whispered (nor did he ever
trouble to deny) that he had won it by foul means, by loaded dice.
Indeed no card-player in St. James's cheated more persistently than he.
As he was rich and had no wife and family to support, and as his luck
was always capital, I can offer no excuse for his conduct. At Carlton
House, in the presence of many bishops and cabinet ministers, he once
dunned the Regent most arrogantly for 5000 guineas out of which he had
cheated him some months before, and went so far as to declare that he
would not leave the house till he got it; whereupon His Royal Highness,
with that unfailing tact for which he was ever famous, invited him to
stay there as a guest; which, in fact, Lord George did, for several
months. After this, we can hardly be surprised when we read that he
"seldom sat down to the fashionable game of Limbo with less than four,
and sometimes with _as many as seven_ aces up his sleeve."[2] We can
only wonder that he was tolerated at all.
[Footnote 2: _Contemporary Bucks_, vol. i, page 73.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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