The Haunted Man and the Ghost's BargainDickens, Charles
General
The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain
Dickens, Charles
Christmas stories; Ghost stories
Tetterby’s was the corner shop in Jerusalem Buildings. There was a good
show of literature in the window, chiefly consisting of
picture-newspapers out of date, and serial pirates, and footpads.
Walking-sticks, likewise, and marbles, were included in the stock in
trade. It had once extended into the light confectionery line; but it
would seem that those elegancies of life were not in demand about
Jerusalem Buildings, for nothing connected with that branch of commerce
remained in the window, except a sort of small glass lantern containing a
languishing mass of bull’s-eyes, which had melted in the summer and
congealed in the winter until all hope of ever getting them out, or of
eating them without eating the lantern too, was gone for ever.
Tetterby’s had tried its hand at several things. It had once made a
feeble little dart at the toy business; for, in another lantern, there
was a heap of minute wax dolls, all sticking together upside down, in the
direst confusion, with their feet on one another’s heads, and a
precipitate of broken arms and legs at the bottom. It had made a move in
the millinery direction, which a few dry, wiry bonnet-shapes remained in
a corner of the window to attest. It had fancied that a living might lie
hidden in the tobacco trade, and had stuck up a representation of a
native of each of the three integral portions of the British Empire, in
the act of consuming that fragrant weed; with a poetic legend attached,
importing that united in one cause they sat and joked, one chewed
tobacco, one took snuff, one smoked: but nothing seemed to have come of
it—except flies. Time had been when it had put a forlorn trust in
imitative jewellery, for in one pane of glass there was a card of cheap
seals, and another of pencil-cases, and a mysterious black amulet of
inscrutable intention, labelled ninepence. But, to that hour, Jerusalem
Buildings had bought none of them. In short, Tetterby’s had tried so
hard to get a livelihood out of Jerusalem Buildings in one way or other,
and appeared to have done so indifferently in all, that the best position
in the firm was too evidently Co.’s; Co., as a bodiless creation, being
untroubled with the vulgar inconveniences of hunger and thirst, being
chargeable neither to the poor’s-rates nor the assessed taxes, and having
no young family to provide for.
Tetterby himself, however, in his little parlour, as already mentioned,
having the presence of a young family impressed upon his mind in a manner
too clamorous to be disregarded, or to comport with the quiet perusal of
a newspaper, laid down his paper, wheeled, in his distraction, a few
times round the parlour, like an undecided carrier-pigeon, made an
ineffectual rush at one or two flying little figures in bed-gowns that
skimmed past him, and then, bearing suddenly down upon the only
unoffending member of the family, boxed the ears of little Moloch’s
nurse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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