The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain — John Shaqi
The Haunted Man and the Ghost's BargainDickens, Charles
General
The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain
Dickens, Charles
Christmas stories; Ghost stories
“You bad boy!” said Mr. Tetterby, “haven’t you any feeling for your poor
father after the fatigues and anxieties of a hard winter’s day, since
five o’clock in the morning, but must you wither his rest, and corrode
his latest intelligence, with _your_ wicious tricks? Isn’t it enough,
sir, that your brother ’Dolphus is toiling and moiling in the fog and
cold, and you rolling in the lap of luxury with a—with a baby, and
everything you can wish for,” said Mr. Tetterby, heaping this up as a
great climax of blessings, “but must you make a wilderness of home, and
maniacs of your parents? Must you, Johnny? Hey?” At each
interrogation, Mr. Tetterby made a feint of boxing his ears again, but
thought better of it, and held his hand.
“Oh, father!” whimpered Johnny, “when I wasn’t doing anything, I’m sure,
but taking such care of Sally, and getting her to sleep. Oh, father!”
“I wish my little woman would come home!” said Mr. Tetterby, relenting
and repenting, “I only wish my little woman would come home! I ain’t fit
to deal with ’em. They make my head go round, and get the better of me.
Oh, Johnny! Isn’t it enough that your dear mother has provided you with
that sweet sister?” indicating Moloch; “isn’t it enough that you were
seven boys before without a ray of gal, and that your dear mother went
through what she _did_ go through, on purpose that you might all of you
have a little sister, but must you so behave yourself as to make my head
swim?”
Softening more and more, as his own tender feelings and those of his
injured son were worked on, Mr. Tetterby concluded by embracing him, and
immediately breaking away to catch one of the real delinquents. A
reasonably good start occurring, he succeeded, after a short but smart
run, and some rather severe cross-country work under and over the
bedsteads, and in and out among the intricacies of the chairs, in
capturing this infant, whom he condignly punished, and bore to bed. This
example had a powerful, and apparently, mesmeric influence on him of the
boots, who instantly fell into a deep sleep, though he had been, but a
moment before, broad awake, and in the highest possible feather. Nor was
it lost upon the two young architects, who retired to bed, in an
adjoining closet, with great privacy and speed. The comrade of the
Intercepted One also shrinking into his nest with similar discretion, Mr.
Tetterby, when he paused for breath, found himself unexpectedly in a
scene of peace.
“My little woman herself,” said Mr. Tetterby, wiping his flushed face,
“could hardly have done it better! I only wish my little woman had had
it to do, I do indeed!”
Mr. Tetterby sought upon his screen for a passage appropriate to be
impressed upon his children’s minds on the occasion, and read the
following.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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