The Haunts of Old CockaigneThompson, Alexander M. (Alexander Mattock)
General
The Haunts of Old Cockaigne
Thompson, Alexander M. (Alexander Mattock)
London (England) -- Description and travel
One of the earliest recollections I have of him is connected with a
_tête-à-tête_ dinner (the tater-tart came many years after) in one
of the Fleet Street taverns.
We had finished our ample meal, when in came my old friend Tom
Sutton, of the _Athletic News_, and seeing nothing but empty plates
before us, cheerily invited us to dine.
I was about to explain the situation, when the Bounder, to warn me
off, winking sideways, affably answered, "All right, old chap. I'll
have a steak and a tankard of stout."
This he consumed, together with several accessories and supplements
pressed upon his easy acquiescence by our genial host.
At last came the solemn moment
When the banquet's o'er,
The dreadful reckoning, and men smile no more.
Tom Sutton looked, and looked again, pulled his moustache, and
called the waiter.
"I say," he protested, "there's a mistake here. We haven't had all
this."
"Mistake, sir?" said the waiter. "No, dere vas no mistake, sir;
I haf charge for dat gentleman all his two dinner. Dat gentleman
always have two dinner sometimes. No mistake."
"Two dinners? Why"--
But at that moment Tom looked across the table, saw the Bounder's
huge frame shaking with inward chuckles, which rose to a roar as
their eyes met, and then he paid and said no more.
The Bounder was of course the Mentor who introduced me to Bower's.
I was "up" for a day, and of course we "signified the same in the
usual manner."
"Albert," said the Bounder, "bring me a glass of _my_ port--from
behind the glue-pot."
I said I would take the same, and put down half a crown.
Albert brought tenpence change.
As I counted it, I began, "I say, is this change"--
The Bounder, who had been watching, at once interrupted me. "Don't
expose your untutored provincial ignorance," he said; "tenpence a
time. Always have it with provincials. Tenpence left? Order another."
* * * * *
It was soon after the _Clarion_ removed its headquarters to London,
that I paid my first visit to the Cheshire Cheese, the primitive
tavern, with "nicely sanded floor," which, in a dingy Fleet Street
court, still rears its antique head in proud and successful defiance
of the gimcrack modern amply-mirrored restaurant.
It was a damp, cold, miserable November night, and I had been
tramping with the partner of my joys all day through slush and mire
in search of houses.
Looking in for letters at the _Clarion's_ gloomy little office in
Bouverie Street, I found Fay crouching disconsolately over a handful
of expiring embers in the grate.
He had been ill for many weeks, and had been reduced to a painful
diet of buns and milk, but yet, if he might not feast, he could
still take an interest in other people's feasting. Doctors could not
rob him of that comfort.
So he inquired with touching interest where we proposed to dine.
My Bosom's Lord, with native Cornish trend, asked where was food the
cheapest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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