The Haunts of Old CockaigneThompson, Alexander M. (Alexander Mattock)
General
The Haunts of Old Cockaigne
Thompson, Alexander M. (Alexander Mattock)
London (England) -- Description and travel
"Tut tut," said the Bounder. "Are you blessed with an appetite, yet
grudge its entertainment? Is dinner-time a time to think of thrift?
Go to, woman. Do you never give thanks? It is Saturday night. The
Cheshire Cheese pudding is now on. Take this poor victim of your
avarice to the Cheshire Cheese, and let him for once be decently
fed."
"All right," answered my frugal spouse; "if it's the Board's
orders, and the Board pays, I don't object," and with a laughing
"Good-night," she prepared to depart.
But as we were crossing the threshold the Bounder stopped me. "Are
you going to the Cheese?" he asked.
"I expect so."
"Hum! and I'm doomed to the bun-and-milk shop." His voice quivered
as he spoke. Then suddenly--"No, hang it! I'll come with you. That
doctor of mine is an ass. I'll try the pudding."
And he did--several times; though I, in robust health, could stomach
no more than one helping of the rich and bilious compound.
As we came out he walked on his heels and slapped his chest. "Haw!
haw!" he said, "I never felt better in my life. That doctor is an
ass. Bread and milk? Bah!" And he swaggered all the way down Fleet
Street.
On the next evening I found him crouching again over the little fire
in Bouverie Street. I could feel his "hump" as soon as I opened the
door. He was very bad.
"What's the matter, old chap? Don't you feel well?"
"No," he said, very ruefully; "I'm very bad. You know, I begin
to think my doctor is a fool. I've been trying this perishing
bread-and-milk diet for nearly two months, and, upon my word, I
never felt worse. Really, I've given this doctor a fair trial, but,
hang it all, the fellow does not understand me at all!"
* * * * *
Oh the gaps left by the passing years in a man's little circle of
friends!
Time was when the cordial hand-grip of friends met me in Manchester
at every corner, and almost every face in the streets was familiar.
I was there last Christmas, and I walked for half a day without a
welcoming voice or smiling countenance to greet me. I thought of
them that I had known, and walked with, and drank and eaten with
there, and desolation fell upon me. To stroll through the crowded,
bustling thoroughfare was like walking through a graveyard at
midnight. The buildings loomed upon my gaze like monuments of the
departed; and the only inhabitants I saw were spectres of the dead.
It was holiday time, and the passers-by were many. Their laughter
sounded in my ears like the sobbing of wind through willows.
Then I fell into a cluster of survivors from the fray, a band of
staunch and hearty friends of old, who took me by the hand and
"trated me dacent."
"Well, I am glad to see you," said one; then another, then another,
and all together in lusty chorus.
That was good.
Then they began to talk. "Do you remember being here with Tom Sutton
on such a night? Ah, poor old Tom! His death was an awful shock!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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