“Take that for your ignorance--and that to the back of it--ha; that'll taiche you--to call a man that taiches Classics a schoolmaster, indeed! 'Tis a Profissor of Humanity itself, he is--(whack, whack, whack,)--ha! you ringleader, you; you're as bad as Dick M'Growler, that no masther in the county could get any good of, in regard that he put the whole school together by the ears, wherever he'd be, though the spalpeen wouldn't stand fight himself. Hard fortune to you! to go to put such an affront upon me, an' me a Profissor of Humanity. What's Latin for pantaloons?” “Fern--fern--femi--” “No, it's not, sir.” “Femora--” “Can you do it?” “Don't strike me, sir, don't strike me, sir, an' I will.” “I say, can you do it?” “Femorali,”--(whack, whack, whack,)-- “Ah, sir! ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir!”-- “This thratement to a Profissor of Humanity--(drives him head over heels to his seat).--Now, sir, maybe you'll have Latin for throwsers agin, or by my sowl, if you don't, you must peel, and I'll tache you what a Profissor of Humanity is! “Dan Roe, you little starved-looking spalpeen, will you come up to your Elocution?--and a purty figure you cut at it, wid a voice like a penny thrumpet, Dan! Well, what speech have you got now, Dan, _ma bouchal_. Is it, 'Romans, counthrymin, and lovers?'” “No, shir; yarrah, didn't I spake that speech before?” “No, you didn't, you fairy. Ah, Dan, little as you are, you take credit for more than ever you spoke, Dan, agrah; but, faith, the same thrick will come agin you some time or other, avick! Go and get that speech betther; I see by your face, you haven't it; off wid you, and get a patch upon your breeches, your little knees are through them, though 'tisn't by prayin' you've wore them, any how, you little hop-o'-my-thumb you, wid a voice like a rat in a thrap; off wid you, man alive!” Sometimes the neighboring gentry used to call into Mat's establishment, moved probably by a curiosity excited by his character, and the general conduct of the school. On one occasion Squire Johnston and an English gentleman paid him rather an unexpected visit. Mat had that morning got a new scholar, the son of a dancing tailor in the neighborhood; and as it was reported that the son was nearly equal to the father in that accomplishment, Mat insisted on having a specimen of his skill. He was the more anxious on this point as it would contribute to the amusement of a travelling schoolmaster, who had paid him rather a hostile visit, which Mat, who dreaded a literary challenge, feared might occasion him some trouble. “Come up here, you little sartor, till we get a dacent view of you. You're a son of Ned Malone's--aren't you?” “Yes, and of Mary Malone, my mother, too, sir.” “Why, thin, that's not so bad, any how--what's your name?” “Dick, sir.” “Now, Dick, ma bouchal, isn't it true that you can dance a horn-pipe?” “Yes, sir.”