Lucian was growing really anxious about his manuscript. He had gained
enough experience at twenty-three to know that editors and publishers
must not be hurried; but his book had been lying at Messrs. Beit’s
office for more than three months. For six weeks he had not dared to
expect an answer, but afterwards life had become agonizing. Every
morning, at post-time, the poor wretch nearly choked with anxiety to
know whether his sentence had arrived, and the rest of the day was
racked with alternate pangs of hope and despair. Now and then he was
almost assured of success; conning over these painful and eager pages
in memory, he found parts that were admirable, while again, his
inexperience reproached him, and he feared he had written a raw and
awkward book, wholly unfit for print. Then he would compare what he
remembered of it with notable magazine articles and books praised by
reviewers, and fancy that after all there might be good points in the
thing; he could not help liking the first chapter for instance. Perhaps
the letter might come tomorrow. So it went on; week after week of sick
torture made more exquisite by such gleams of hope; it was as if he
were stretched in anguish on the rack, and the pain relaxed and kind
words spoken now and again by the tormentors, and then once more the
grinding pang and burning agony. At last he could bear suspense no
longer, and he wrote to Messrs. Beit, inquiring in a humble manner
whether the manuscript had arrived in safety. The firm replied in a
very polite letter, expressing regret that their reader had been
suffering from a cold in the head, and had therefore been unable to
send in his report. A final decision was promised in a week’s time, and
the letter ended with apologies for the delay and a hope that he had
suffered no inconvenience. Of course the “final decision” did not come
at the end of the week, but the book was returned at the end of three
weeks, with a circular thanking the author for his kindness in
submitting the manuscript, and regretting that the firm did not see
their way to producing it. He felt relieved; the operation that he had
dreaded and deprecated for so long was at last over, and he would no
longer grow sick of mornings when the letters were brought in. He took
his parcel to the sunny corner of the garden, where the old wooden seat
stood sheltered from the biting March winds. Messrs. Beit had put in
with the circular one of their short lists, a neat booklet, headed:
_Messrs. Beit & Co.’s Recent Publications_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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