He sat back luxuriously in the disreputable old chair, drawing long
slow wreaths of smoke, tasting his whisky from time to time, evidently
well at ease with himself. The father saw him smile, and it suddenly
dawned upon him that his son was very handsome; he had such kind gentle
eyes and a kind mouth, and his pale cheeks were flushed like a girl’s.
Mr. Taylor felt moved. What a harmless young fellow Lucian had been; no
doubt a little queer and different from others, but wholly inoffensive
and patient under disappointment. And Miss Deacon, her contribution to
the evening’s discussion had been characteristic; she had remarked,
firstly, that writing was a very unsettling occupation, and secondly,
that it was extremely foolish to entrust one’s property to people of
whom one knew nothing. Father and son had smiled together at these
observations, which were probably true enough. Mr. Taylor at last left
Lucian along; he shook hands with a good deal of respect, and said,
almost deferentially:
“You mustn’t work too hard, old fellow. I wouldn’t stay up too late, if
I were you, after that long walk. You must have gone miles out of your
way.”
“I’m not tired now, though. I feel as if I could write my new book on
the spot”; and the young man laughed a gay sweet laugh that struck the
father as a new note in his son’s life.
He sat still a moment after his father had left the room. He cherished
his chief treasure of thought in its secret place; he would not enjoy
it yet. He drew up a chair to the table at which he wrote or tried to
write, and began taking pens and paper from the drawer. There was a
great pile of ruled paper there; all of it used, on one side, and
signifying many hours of desperate scribbling, of heart-searching and
rack of his brain; an array of poor, eager lines written by a waning
fire with waning hope; all useless and abandoned. He took up the sheets
cheerfully, and began in delicious idleness to look over these
fruitless efforts. A page caught his attention; he remembered how he
wrote it while a November storm was dashing against the panes; and
there was another, with a queer blot in one corner; he had got up from
his chair and looked out, and all the earth was white fairyland, and
the snowflakes whirled round and round in the wind. Then he saw the
chapter begun of a night in March: a great gale blew that night and
rooted up one of the ancient yews in the churchyard. He had heard the
trees shrieking in the woods, and the long wail of the wind, and across
the heaven a white moon fled awfully before the streaming clouds. And
all these poor abandoned pages now seemed sweet, and past unhappiness
was transmuted into happiness, and the nights of toil were holy. He
turned over half a dozen leaves and began to sketch out the outlines of
the new book on the unused pages; running out a skeleton plan on one
page, and dotting fancies, suggestions, hints on others. He wrote
rapidly, overjoyed to find that loving phrases grew under his pen; a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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