He set out on the adventure with a fury of enthusiasm; his last thought
at night when all the maze of streets was empty and silent was of the
problem, and his dreams ran on phrases, and when he awoke in the
morning he was eager to get back to his desk. He immersed himself in a
minute, almost a microscopic analysis of fine literature. It was no
longer enough, as in the old days, to feel the charm and incantation of
a line or a word; he wished to penetrate the secret, to understand
something of the wonderful suggestion, all apart from the sense, that
seemed to him the _differentia_ of literature, as distinguished from
the long follies of “character-drawing,” “psychological analysis,” and
all the stuff that went to make the three-volume novel of commerce.
He found himself curiously strengthened by the change from the hills to
the streets. There could be no doubt, he thought, that living a lonely
life, interested only in himself and his own thoughts, he had become in
a measure inhuman. The form of external things, black depths in woods,
pools in lonely places, those still valleys curtained by hills on every
side, sounding always with the ripple of their brooks, had become to
him an influence like that of a drug, giving a certain peculiar colour
and outline to his thoughts. And from early boyhood there had been
another strange flavor in his life, the dream of the old Roman world,
those curious impressions that he had gathered from the white walls of
Caermaen, and from the looming bastions of the fort. It was in reality
the subconscious fancies of many years that had rebuilt the golden
city, and had shown him the vine-trellis and the marbles and the
sunlight in the garden of Avallaunius. And the rapture of love had made
it all so vivid and warm with life, that even now, when he let his pen
drop, the rich noise of the tavern and the chant of the theatre sounded
above the murmur of the streets. Looking back, it was as much a part of
his life as his schooldays, and the tessellated pavements were as real
as the square of faded carpet beneath his feet.
But he felt that he had escaped. He could now survey those splendid and
lovely visions from without, as if he read of opium dreams, and he no
longer dreaded a weird suggestion that had once beset him, that his
very soul was being moulded into the hills, and passing into the black
mirror of still waterpools. He had taken refuge in the streets, in the
harbor of a modern suburb, from the vague, dreaded magic that had
charmed his life. Whenever he felt inclined to listen to the old
wood-whisper or to the singing of the fauns he bent more earnestly to
his work, turning a deaf ear to the incantations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account