Another incident occurred about this time which also illustrates, in
some degree, the spirit of the times. Two citizens who shall be named B.
and M. had been in the habit of bantering each other about their
poverty. M. persisted in assuming that he was not as poor as B., and
that it was all owing to his superior address and financial ability.
This ridiculous assumption may be understood, when it is stated that
neither party could, from every available resource, have raised a sum
in money equal to the present price of a barrel of flour. M. complained
to B. about his hogs running at large, and threatened that if they were
permitted to annoy him he would shut them up and kill them. It so
happened that B. did not own a hog in the world--a fact which he was
careful not to disclose. M. commenced to put his threat in execution by
building an enclosure in which he incarcerated all vagrant hogs, and
proceeded to put them in a condition for slaughtering by a liberal
appliance of corn and swill. These things did not escape the observation
of B. who waited patiently until the hogs were in a nice condition, when
he called upon M. and rather angrily remonstrated with him upon
committing so unneighborly an act as to secrete his hogs, alleging that
he had searched diligently for them, and that great apprehensions had
existed, lest his family might seriously suffer for the want thereof. He
reminded him of the cordiality and good feeling which had previously
existed between them, of their good natured jokes and banters, and of
the general felicity which they had enjoyed in each other's society; and
read him a homily upon the advantages to be derived from the practice
of honesty and integrity. He insisted, however, upon the unconditional
liberation of four particularly promising specimens of the genus,
porker. To this M. demurred.--While he admitted that what B. had taken
so much pains to remind him of, was in the main true, he urged that the
corn wherewith he had fed the hogs was difficult to be obtained, that he
had spent much time in feeding and taking care of them, and that it was
not right for one man to take advantage of another's wrong act for his
own benefit. These arguments somewhat mollified B. who finally agreed to
a compromise by which M. was to continue feeding the hogs for a
specified time, and then kill and dress them, and bring the carcasses of
the two best to the house of B. This compact was carried into effect in
good faith. Shortly afterwards B. disclosed the history of this little
operation which came to the ears of M. It is confidently believed that
he never afterwards boasted of his peculiar gifts of finesse. It is but
fair to say, that the real owner of the hogs who had no share in the
spoils, pocketed his loss with admirable grace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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