English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"In the back--my dear James! In the spare bed on the north-east
terrace, I suppose you mean. And what have we in the Dutch
Ornamental Garden?"
"If I has to look after ornamental gardens and south aspics and all,
I ought to have my salary raised," said James, still harping on his
one grievance.
"By all means raise some celery," I said coldly.
"Take a spade and raise some for lunch. I shall be only too
delighted."
"This here isn't the season for celery, as you know well. This
here's the season for crocuses, as anyone can see if they use their
eyes."
"James, you're right. Forgive me. It is no day for quarrelling."
It was no day for working either. The sun shone upon the
close-cropped green of the deer park, the sky was blue above the
rose garden, in the tapioca grove a thrush was singing. I walked up
and down my estate and drank in the good fresh air.
"James!" I called to my head gardener.
"What is it now?" he grumbled.
"Are there no daffodils to take the winds of March with beauty?"
"There's these eleven croc--"
"But there should be daffodils too. Is not this March?"
"It may be March, but 'tisn't the time for daffodils--not on three
shillings a week."
"Do you only get three shillings a week? I thought it was three
shillings an hour."
"Likely an hour!"
"Ah well, I knew it was three shillings. Do you know, James, in the
Scilly Islands there are fields and fields and fields of nodding
daffodils out now."
"Lor'!" said James.
"Did you say 'lor'' or 'liar'?" I asked suspiciously.
"To think of that now," said James cautiously.
He wandered off to the tapioca grove, leant against it in thought
for a moment, and came back to me.
"What's wrong with this little bit of garden--this here park," he
began, "is the soil. It's no soil for daffodils. Now what daffodils
like is clay."
"Then for Heaven's sake get them some clay. Spare no expense. Get
them anything they fancy."
"It's too alloovial--that's what's the matter. Too alloovial. Now,
crocuses like a bit of alloovial. That's where you have it."
The matter with James is that he hasn't enough work to do. The rest
of the staff is so busily employed that it is hardly ever visible.
William, for instance, is occupied entirely with what I might call
the poultry; it is his duty, in fact, to see that there are always
enough ants' eggs for the goldfish. All these prize Leghorns you
hear about are the merest novices compared with William's protegees.
Then John looks after the staggery; Henry works the coloured
fountain; and Peter paints the peacocks' tails. This keeps them all
busy, but James is for ever hanging about.
"Almost seems as if they were yooman," he said, as we stood and
listened to the rooks.
"Oh, are you there, James? It's a beautiful day. Who said that
first? I believe you did."
"Them there rooks always make a place seem so home-like. Rooks and
crocuses, I say--and you don't want anything more."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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