English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"At LAST, gentlemen, we have got it. I thought we should arrive at
the truth in the end, in spite of Mr Jobson's prevarications." He
turned to the witness. "Now, sir," he said sternly, "you have
already told the Court that you have no idea what you were doing on
the night of April 24th, 1897. I put it to you once more that this
blankness of memory is due to the fact that you were in a state of
intoxication on the premises of the Hackney Chess Circle. Can you
swear on your oath that this is not so?"
A murmur of admiration for the relentless way in which the truth had
been tracked down ran through the court. Rupert drew himself up and
put on both pairs of pince-nez at once.
"Come, sir!" he said, "the jury is waiting." But it was not Albert
Jobson who answered. It was the counsel for the prosecution. "My
lord," he said, getting up slowly, "this has come as a complete
surprise to me. In the circumstances, I must advise my clients to
withdraw from the case."
"A very proper decision," said his lordship. "The prisoner is
discharged without a stain on her character."
. . . . . . .
Briefs poured in upon Rupert next day, and he was engaged for all
the big Chancery cases. Within a week his six plays were accepted,
and within a fortnight he had entered Parliament as the miners'
Member for Coalville. His marriage took place at the end of a month.
The wedding presents were even more numerous and costly than usual,
and included thirty-five yards of book muslin, ten pairs of gloves,
a sponge, two gimlets, five jars of cold cream, a copy of the Clergy
List, three hat-guards, a mariner's compass, a box of drawing-pins,
an egg-breaker, six blouses, and a cabman's whistle. They were
marked quite simply, "From a Grateful Friend."
THE CIVIL SERVANT
It was three o'clock, and the afternoon sun reddened the western
windows of one of the busiest of Government offices. In an airy room
on the third floor Richard Dale was batting. Standing in front of
the coal-box with the fire-shovel in his hands, he was a model of
the strenuous young Englishman; and as for the third time he turned
the Government india-rubber neatly in the direction of square-leg,
and so completed his fifty, the bowler could hardly repress a sigh
of envious admiration. Even the reserved Matthews, who was too old
for cricket, looked up a moment from his putting, and said, "Well
played, Dick!"
The fourth occupant of the room was busy at his desk, as if to give
the lie to the thoughtless accusation that the Civil Service
cultivates the body at the expense of the mind. The eager shouts of
the players seemed to annoy him, for he frowned and bit his pen, or
else passed his fingers restlessly through his hair.
"How the dickens you expect any one to think in this confounded
noise," he cried suddenly.
"What's the matter, Ashby?"
"You're the matter. How am I going to get these verses done for The
Evening Surprise if you make such a row? Why don't you go out to
tea?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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