The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
Let us begin with one especially dominant domestic myth, that fondly
cherished popular idea--"the privacy of the home." In the home who has
any privacy? Privacy means the decent seclusion of the individual, the
right to do what one likes unwatched, uncriticised, unhindered. Neither
father, mother, nor child has this right at home. The young man setting
up in "chambers," the young woman in college room or studio, at last
they realise what privacy is, at last they have the right to be alone.
The home does provide some privacy for the family as a lump--but it
remains a lump--there is no privacy for the individual. When homes and
families began this was enough, people were simple, unspecialised,
their tastes and wishes were similar; it is not enough to-day.
The progressive socialisation of humanity develops individuals; and
this ever-increasing individuality suffers cruelly in the crude
familiarity of home life. There sits the family, all ages, both sexes,
as many characters as persons; and every budding expression, thought,
feeling, or action has to run the gauntlet of the crowd. Suppose any
member is sufficiently strong to insist on a place apart, on doing
things alone and without giving information thereof to the others--is
this easy in the home? Is this relished by the family?
The father, being the economic base of the whole structure, has most
power in this direction; but in ninety-nine cases in a hundred he has
taken his place and his work outside. In the one hundredth case, where
some artist, author, or clergyman has to do his work at home--what is
his opinion then of the privacy of that sacred place?
The artist flees to a studio apart, if possible; the author builds him
a "den" in his garden, if he can afford it; the clergyman strives
mightily to keep "the study" to himself, but even so the family, used
to herding, finds it hard to respect anybody's privacy, and resents it.
The mother--poor invaded soul--finds even the bathroom door no bar to
hammering little hands. From parlour to kitchen, from cellar to garret,
she is at the mercy of children, servants, tradesmen, and callers. So
chased and trodden is she that the very idea of privacy is lost to her
mind; she never had any, she doesn't know what it is, and she cannot
understand why her husband should wish to have any "reserves," any
place or time, any thought or feeling, with which she may not make
free.
The children, if possible, have less even than the mother. Under the
close, hot focus of loving eyes, every act magnified out of all natural
proportion by the close range, the child soul begins to grow. Noticed,
studied, commented on, and incessantly interfered with; forced into
miserable self-consciousness by this unremitting glare; our little ones
grow up permanently injured in character by this lack of one of
humanity's most precious rights--privacy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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