The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
The usual result, and perhaps the healthiest, is that bickering which
is so distinctive a feature of family life. The effect varies. Sore
from too much rubbing, there is a state of chronic irritability in the
more sensitive; callous from too much rubbing there is a state of
chronic indifference in the more hardy; and indignities are possible,
yes, common, in family life which would shock and break the bonds of
friendship or of love, and which would be simply inconceivable among
polite acquaintances.
Another result, pleasanter to look at, but deeply injurious to the
soul, is the affectionate dominance of the strongest member of the
family; the more or less complete subservience of the others. Here is
peace at least; but here lives are warped and stunted forever by the
too constant pressure, close and heavy, surrounding them from infancy.
The home, as we know it, does not furnish privacy to the individual,
rich or poor. With the poor there is such crowding as renders it
impossible; and with the rich there is another factor so absolutely
prohibitive of privacy that the phrase becomes a laughing-stock.
Private?--a place private where we admit to the most intimate personal
association an absolute stranger; or more than one? Strangers by birth,
by class, by race, by education--as utterly alien as it is possible to
conceive--these we introduce in our homes--in our very bedchambers; in
knowledge of all the daily habits of our lives--and then we talk of
privacy! Moreover, these persons can talk. As they are not encouraged
to talk to us, they talk the more among themselves; talk fluently,
freely, in reaction from the enforced repression of "their place," and,
with perhaps a tinge of natural bitterness, revenging small slights by
large comment. With servants living in our homes by day and night,
confronted with our strange customs and new ideas, having our family
affairs always before them, and having nothing else in their occupation
to offset this interest, we find in this arrangement of life a
condition as far removed from privacy as could be imagined.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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