At this point he reflects for a while; and he continues: “I identified myself always with the female figures who were mostly strong, aggressive women. I could always enthuse over such strong, energetic women displaying male aggressiveness about them. If a woman or a girl ever interested me and played a rôle in my day dreams, she was of this type.” Next he recalls a heterosexual episode. He admired for a time the landlady’s daughter, kept company with her, they played music together, but he felt very unhappy when she married off afterwards. The Eulenberg trial made him aware of his own homosexuality. That made him very unhappy for he discovered that he was unlike others. In the high school he was always looked upon as peculiar and he kept aloof from his schoolmates. The famous trial made it clear to him that his end would be either insanity or jail. He went through some dreadful days. He was in love with a friend and when the latter asked him why he was so depressed, he broke into bitter tears and poured out his heart circuitously describing his passion. He felt that he was not like others, he felt lonely and closed in, unrecognized and weak. His friend advised him to devote himself more to art. He looked upon the subject’s suffering as due to thwarted ambition. His typical dreams are concerned with pursuit by men and breaking in. A particular dream made a strong impression on him: He was pursued in bed by a great mass of bedbugs and finally himself turned into a bedbug.[35] Like all homosexuals he had for a time the fear of infection and especially of tuberculosis. He was almost convinced that he would die prematurely of tuberculosis. We are also familiar with tuberculosis (as well as syphilis) as the representative of what is evil, of incest and homosexuality. But for the present our patient sheds no light on this aspect of the subject. We do not care to influence Sigma and therefore do not disturb the course of his associations. Sigma shows but little interest in the analysis. He is mistrusting and hesitant. He does not have much time and seems relieved when the sitting is over. The next sitting opens as follows: “I have come to ask you to make an appointment with me for tomorrow. I want to skip today. I must take a little rest and gather strength. Yesterday’s sitting has sort of taken me to pieces....” During the first couple of sittings I had hardly spoken a word and had allowed Sigma to do all the talking. But the flight reflex, which dominates all homosexuals, because they are afraid of the truth, is here already coming to surface: “What roused you so yesterday?” “That you kept so quiet. It was an uncanny silence....” “Would you have preferred to see me excited?” “No.... I know, of course, that the physician must keep his balance. But that is precisely what I lack. What an awful impression I must have made on you!”