One of the usual confessions, overlooking most important features. The
self-incriminating feeling of the masochist who has “learned to bear
defeat,” is indicated by the ridiculous fear of the “penetrating look”
of my office girl. This fear would probably be traced through analysis
to his sadistic attitude towards women. There are a number of other
interesting statements. He belongs to a family of many children, a
severe father, a negligent mother, he is jealously envious of his
sisters. A large number of homosexual episodes are related about his
childhood and his habit of putting on women’s clothes. That shows
clearly the tendency to identify himself with the mother or sister. But
why did he want to be a woman? Why did he want to assume the rôle of
mother? He wanted to supply a woman, to substitute the mother to his
father. Here it was _the strong father_ who so attracted the boy that
the latter wanted to be everything to him; Subsequently he falls in love
repeatedly with elderly men who stand for substitutes of his father. The
elderly man is always the _Imago_ of the father. During the homosexual
episodes with elderly men, either actual or occurring merely in the
boy’s fancy, he finds himself still a child towards whom the father
displays tenderness and who is permitted by the father to carry on
_fellatio_ upon the latter. He is also drawn to young boys. There he
plays the rôle of the father while the boy supplies the picture of his
own youth.
Interesting is his distinct disgust at women which disappears after
alcoholic drinks enough so as to enable him to carry out coitus. He was
also near falling in love with a girl who had a boyish appearance. That
betrays certain relations between boy and girl. The boys are loved when
they show the traits of a beloved sister, the old men when they recall
the father.
His path towards woman is blocked. Disgust and fear of infections cover
more significant motives bearing a religious coloring. Every prostitute
becomes the sister, a younger edition of the mother. Without analysis
the genesis of this paraphilia cannot be understood. He avoids me
because he is unwilling to discover the truth. The over-severe father
seems to have roused in him the yearning for a kindlier one and to have
determined the development of his feeling-attitude. An attachment to the
sister seems also clearly discernible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account