We have here an instance of the transposition of the love of servant
girls to males. He had always a weakness for servant girls and since he
feared he might yet get tangled up in marriage with a cook, he tried to
keep away from them. Only once in the home of a friend he embraced
suddenly a cook and passionately kissed her. “I could have without a
doubt cohabited with her,” he told me. But he soon quit visiting that
particular friend....
He identified himself completely with the father. He lived in his own
house, acted like the father, had the same kind of wardrobe, although
his father had aged a great deal. But in one respect he wanted to be
different. He engaged therefore a male servant and always took his meals
outside, so as to have no cook in the house. But that servant he kept
always at a certain distance. He did not care to have any love affairs
with servants in the house, like his father.
The analysis disclosed his repressed sadistic attitude towards woman.
His first attempts at intercourse with women failed him and he was able
to carry out coitus successfully only under the influence of alcohol.
Later he did recall a single successful coitus without that aid. The
girl had roused his anger with the remark that he was merely an insolent
fellow. He jumped at her, ready to strike her, and was tremendously
excited. In that roused state he carried out coitus. _But he would have
rather strangled her._
He showed an idiosyncrasy against certain female occupations. Nurses in
their garb he would have gladly torn to pieces. He also hated all nuns.
It was not well for any woman to rouse his anger. He could be very
dangerous when roused. He confesses entertaining as his favorite
phantasy the thought of tearing to pieces a woman.
The reason for this sadistic attitude: His _infantile jealousy_ of all
women since woman had robbed him of his father’s love. Among them was
also a nurse who had taken care of the father during a prolonged
illness.
That hatred of women made him impotent and drove him into the homosexual
path. For he was afraid of himself when finding himself alone in the
presence of a woman. He rushed away from houses of prostitution
suddenly, as if a thousand demons were after him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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