--Yes; he had. He wore a padlock on his mouth, was a rattling fighter, and stuck to his friends. In fact, he was generally bull-headed, _as it were_. Good enough! But these are not the qualities I am speaking of. I mean qualities that the people look for in a President. Perhaps "sticking to his friends" may have been one. What do you mean by that? --What do I mean? Why, screening and protecting a set of rascals not half as honest as nine-tenths of the men in jail for robbery. Do you mean me to understand by screening that he did what they do with coal, sift out the little ones and keep in the big ones? --Not at all. There was no "sift" to Grant; he stuck to the whole lot until the Republican party told him he must either let them go or lose the country. By the way, are the Republicans good people? --Yes; just as good as any other, and a good deal better, if they were only Democrats. Why do you complain of them, then? --I don't complain of the honest Republican people of the country. I complain of the Republican politicians. What is a "politician?" --Sometimes an honest man like John Morrissey; hardly ever a fool; generally a knave. What do you mean by a political party? --The term has two meanings. First, all the honest people of the country who believe in a given set of political principles. Secondly, it means all the political office-holders, _managers_ and wire-pullers, whose business is to throw dust in the eyes of the non-politicians (_i. e._, the simple voters). _In this latter sense_ how many parties are there? --A good many people think there is only one. To what party does Mr. Hayes belong? --To the Orange party. What is that? --The temperance party that takes its rum in iced oranges. Is he an able man? --Yes; able to take a kicking from the Republicans better than any other man in the country. What do you mean by taking a kicking? --Why, accepting the toe of the political boot. Can you name any one who has operated on him in this delicate manner? --Yes; Roscoe Conkling. Would you call _him_ a good kicker or bootist? --Yes; tip-top. What proof have you of this? --When Hayes and Sherman kicked Cornell out of office, Roscoe kicked him back on them as governor of the state of New York. When they kicked Arthur out of the custom-house, Roscoe kicked him into the second place on the Republican ticket. Any further proof? --Yes; he kicked Evarts to New York to talk for Cornell, whom, as before said, the administration kicked out. John Sherman was afraid of his toe when he spoke lately at Washington _in favor_ of the man whom he forced the President to kick out, saying he was unfit for the office he held. At last it looks as if Roscoe was going to kick himself into talking for Garfield, whom he despises. Why should he do that? --Oh! it's only the "machine" working. I don't understand. --Have you ever seen a bull trying to stop a locomotive? No.