The House by the RiverHerbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
General
The House by the River
Herbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
(_Prussia_ was given with a splendid crescendo of hate, worthy of the
best Prussian traditions, and "destroy-èd" came with an effective
rallentando.) The Reverend Peter Tarrant, rumbling in a profound bass
the final "destroy-èd," was so life-like an imitation of a real
clergyman leading a real village choir that those of the audience who
had been slightly shocked by the whole performance became suddenly
amused, and those who had not been shocked at all, which was a large
majority, were reduced to the final stages of hysterical approval. The
"turn" was a huge success. A roar of laughter and clapping and
questioning followed the solemn ending. The Choir were urged to "do it
again." The two ladies, flushed and almost overcome by the applause, a
circumstance quite new in the history of the Choir, begged to be
excused; but Stephen once more constrained them. This time, closely
following the best contemporary models on the variety stage, he urged
the audience to assist, and produced from some mysterious source a
number of copies of the words, neatly typed and pointed. And then,
indeed, a wondrous thing was heard. For all that mixed but mainly
respectable company rose up, and, opening timidly, rendered with an
ever-increasing confidence and volume that profane and ridiculous hymn.
Stephen Byrne stood superbly on a footstool and conducted with a poker,
his black eyes flashing, his whole figure vital with excitement and
mirth. And all those people were under his spell. Even the psychologist
forbore for a moment to analyse the workings either of his own or any
man's mind, and concentrated genuinely on the correct pointing of his
words, chuckling insanely at each half-verse. All of them chuckled and
gurgled as they sang.
But such is the hypnotic effect of any music with religious
associations, and so powerful is the simple act of singing vigorously in
unison as a generator of sentiment and solemnity in those who sing, that
by the end of the third stanza they had forgotten that they were being
funny, that the whole thing was a ridiculous joke, and discovered
themselves, to Stephen's intense dismay, chanting with long faces and
tones of inexpressible fervour the pious resolution that the military
domination of Prussia must be wholly and finally "destroy-èd." They
finished, almost with lumps in their throats, so moving was it all, and
stood for a moment in a sheepish hush, half feeling that some one should
say, "Let us pray," or give out a text before they might sit down. Then
some one cackled in the background, and the spell was broken with peals
of insane laughter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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