“Your father was too much in love with life to go out of it
voluntarily,” said Sister Baring.
“Then what the blazes did he do, and why did he do it?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Is he alive or dead?”
“How should I know, Mr. Baltazar?”
“He never wrote to you—after——?”
“Why should he have written to me?” she interrupted.
The rebuke in her voice and eyes sent the young man into confused
apologies.
“Naturally not. You must forgive me, Sister; but, as I’ve told you, I’ve
never met a pal of that mysterious father of mine before. I want to get
all the information I can.”
She drew a chair and sat by him. The great hall was very still and, in
contrast with the vivid sunshine perceived through the eastern windows,
very dark. Through the open door came the scents of the summer gardens.
The air was a little heavy. She felt her cap hot around her temples, and
lassitude enfeebling her limbs. The strain of the war years began to
tell. She had regarded this appointment as a rest from the intolerable
toil of the General Hospital in a large town which she had just quitted.
Before then she had served in France. And before that—for many
years—she had followed the selfless career of the nurse. Now, suddenly,
her splendid nerve showed signs of giving. If she had not sat down, her
legs would have crumpled up beneath her. So she thought. . . .
She looked at the young man, so eager, so proven, so like his father in
gesture and glance, yet in speech and outlook—she was yet to get to
that—but she knew the revolutionary influences of the war, the real
war, on those who have faced its terrors and become saturated with its
abiding philosophies—so different from the fervid creature, John
Baltazar, of the late nineties, who had never dreamed of the possibility
of this world convulsion. He had much the same frank charm of manner,
the direct simplicity of utterance; but the mouth was weaker; the eyes
were blue, the eyes of a shrewish blonde—not the compelling, laughing,
steel-grey eyes with a queer sparkle in the iris of John Baltazar. All
in the young face that was not John Baltazar’s was the mother’s. She
hated the mother dead, as she had loathed her living. Only once had she
seen her, a blonde shrew-mouse of a woman. Just a passing by on the
Newnham road, when a companion had pointed her out as Mrs. Baltazar. The
little bitter mouth had bitten into her memory: the hard little blue
eyes had haunted her for eighteen years. The mouth and eyes were there,
before her, now. The rest, all that was noble in the boy, was John
Baltazar.
“Who has told you the little you do know about him?” she asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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