This was somewhat Jean’s experience when she woke on the morning
following that of the fancy-dress ball. Looking back upon the events of
the previous day, it seemed to her newly-tubbed, matutinal mind almost
incredible that they should have occurred. It was like a dream--life
itself tricked out in fancy dress.
Stripped of the glamour of romance and adventure with which the unknown
Englishman had contrived to clothe it, the whole episode of their day
together presented itself as disagreeably open to criticism, and the
memory of that final scene in the alcove sent the blood flying into her
cheeks. She asked herself in mute amazement how it was possible that
such a thing should have happened to her,--to “our chaste Diana,” as
her father used laughingly to call her in recognition of the instinctive
little air of aloofness with which she had been wont to keep men at a
distance.
Of course, the Englishman had taken her by surprise, but Jean was
too honest, even in her dealings with herself, to shelter behind this
excuse.
She knew that she had yielded to his kiss--and knew, too, that the
bare memory of it sent her heart throbbing in an inexplicable tumult of
emotion.
The stolen day, that day embarked upon so unconcernedly, in a gay spirit
of adventure, had flamed up at its ending into something altogether
different from the light-hearted companionship with which it had begun.
Then her conscience, recreated and vigorous from its morning toilet,
presented another facet of the affair for her inspection. With officious
detail it marshalled the whole series of events before her, dwelling
particularly on the fact that, with hut very slight demur, she had
consented to abrogate the accepted conventions of her class--conventions
designed to safeguard people from just such consequences as had
ensued--and winding up triumphantly with the corollary that although,
like most men in similar circumstances, the Englishman had not scrupled
to avail himself of the advantages the occasion offered, he had
probably, none the less, thought rather cheaply of her for permitting
him to do so.
This reflection stung her pride--exactly as Conscience had intended it
should, without doubt. Last night there had seemed to her no question
about the quality of that farewell in the little screened-off alcove.
There had been nothing common or “cheap” about it. The gathering
incidents of the whole day, the fight through the storm, the prelude of
_Valse Triste_, all seemed to have led her by imperceptible degrees to a
point where she and the Englishman could kiss at parting without shame.
And now, with the morning, the delicate rainbow veiling woven by romance
was rudely torn asunder, and the word “cheap” dinned in her ears like
the clapper of a bell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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