American drama -- 20th century; American essays -- 20th century
[Continues strutting around, imitating what she considers are a man's
stride and swagger, returns to table and proceeds to unwrap parcel.]
Well, I'll go out like a girl, if I did come in like a man. [Drops
wrapping paper on table and holds up a woman's long automobile cloak and
a motor bonnet. Is suddenly startled by sound of approaching footsteps
and glances in a frightened way toward door.] Mercy! Here comes
somebody now! [Glances about her in alarm, drops cloak and bonnet on
floor close to table, seizes a handful of newspapers, and runs to large
leather chair to right of table, where she seats herself hurriedly. One
paper she holds up before her, hiding her face as she pretends to read.
Unfortunately the paper is upside down. The other papers lie on her
lap.]
[Enter ROBERT FITZSIMMONS.]
[He looks about, advances to table, takes out cigarette case and is about
to select one, when he notices motor cloak and bonnet on floor. He lays
cigarette case on table and picks them up. They strike him as profoundly
curious things to be in a club room. He looks at MAUD, then sees card on
table. He picks it up and reach it to himself, then looks at her with
comprehension. Hidden by her newspaper, she sees nothing. He looks at
card again and reads and speaks in an aside.]
FITZSIMMONS. "Maudie. John H. Sylvester." That must be Jack
Sylvester's sister Maud. [FITZSIMMONS shows by his expression that he is
going to play a joke. Tossing cloak and bonnet under the table he places
card in his vest pocket, selects a chair, sits down, and looks at MAUD.
He notes paper is upside down, is hugely tickled, and laughs silently.]
Hello! [Newspaper is agitated by slight tremor. He speaks more loudly.]
Hello! [Newspaper shakes badly. He speaks very loudly.] Hello!
MAUD. [Peeping at him over top of paper and speaking hesitatingly.] H-h-
hello!
FITZSIMMONS. [Gruffly.] You are a queer one, reading a paper upside
down.
MAUD. [Lowering newspaper and trying to appear at ease.] It's quite a
trick, isn't it? I often practise it. I'm real clever at it, you know.
FITZSIMMONS. [Grunts, then adds.] Seems to me I have seen you before.
MAUD. [Glancing quickly from his face to portrait and back again.] Yes,
and I know you--You are Robert Fitzsimmons.
FITZSIMMONS. I thought I knew you.
MAUD. Yes, it was out in San Francisco. My people still live there. I'm
just--ahem--doing New York.
FITZSIMMONS. But I don't quite remember the name.
MAUD. Jones--Harry Jones.
FITZSIMMONS. [Hugely delighted, leaping from chair and striding over to
her.] Sure. [Slaps her resoundingly on shoulder.]
[She is nearly crushed by the weight of the blow, and at the same time
shocked. She scrambles to her feet.]
FITZSIMMONS. Glad to see you, Harry. [He wrings her hand, so that it
hurts.] Glad to see you again, Harry. [He continues wringing her hand
and pumping her arm.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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