The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
This concise statement appeared to satisfy the clerk that his "firm" was
_done_, and the young man and _his_ bill stepped out. Another _ring_,
and Flannigan opens the door; two men wanted to see Mr. Flash; he had
been buying some tin-ware of one, and the other he owed for putting up a
fire range in the building, and which range and accoutrements poor
Flannigan had bought for twenty-five dollars, cash down! These gentlemen
felt very vindictive, of course, and hinted awful strong that Flannigan
was privy to Flash's movements; and a great deal more, until Flannigan
losing his patience, and then his temper, ordered the men to
vamose!--they did, giving poor Flannigan a "good blessing" as they
walked away!
The family was about to sit down to a "made-up dinner" in the back
parlor, when the bell rang; the Irish girl answered the call, and
returned with a bill of sundry groceries, handed in by a man at the
door.
"Tell him Mr. Flash has gone--left--don't know him, and don't want to
know him, or have any thing to do with him or his bill!"
The girl carried back the bill; presently Flannigan hears a _muss_ in
the hall, he gets up and goes out; there was Biddy and the grocer's man
in a high dispute. Biddy--"true to her instinct," had made a bull of her
message by telling the man her master didn't know him; go to the divil
wid his bill! Flannigan managed to pacify the man, and give him to
understand that Mr. Flash was gone to parts unknown, and--the grocer, in
common with bakers, butchers, tinners and china dealers--were _done!_
But now came the tug of war; two "colored ladies" made their appearance,
for a small bill of seven dollars, for washing and ironing the dickeys
and fine linen of the Flashes.
"An' de fac _am_," says the one, "we's bound to hab de money, _shuah!_"
It did not seem to _take_ when Flannigan informed his colored friends
that they were surely _done_, as their debtor had "cut his lucky" and
gone!
The darkies felt inclined to be _sassy_, and Flannigan closed the door,
ordering them to create a vacancy by clearing out, and just as he closed
the door, ring goes the bell!
"Be gor," says a brawny "adopted citizen," planting his brogan upon the
sill, as Flannigan opened the door--"I've come wid me _coz_-zin to git
her wages, ye's owin' her!"
"Me? Owe you?" cries poor Flannigan.
"_Igh!_" says Paddy, trying to push his way into the hall.
"Stand back, you scoundrel!" cries Flannigan.
"_Scoun-thril!_" roars the outraged "adopted citizen."
"Stand back, you infernal ruffian!" exclaims Flannigan, as Paddy makes a
rush to grab him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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