_YAWCOB STRAUSS._ [Illustration: “BUT VEN HE VASH ASLEEP IN PED, SO QUIET AS A MOUSE.”] I HAF von funny leedle poy, Vot gomes schust to mine knee; Der queerest schap, der createst rogue, As efer you dit see. He runs, und schumps, und schmashes dings, In all barts of der house; But vot off dot? he vas mine son, Mine leedle Yawcob Strauss. He gets der measles und der mumbs, Und eferyding dot’s oudt; He sbills mine glass of lager bier, Poots schnuff indo mine kraut. He fills mine pipe mit Limburg cheese,— Dot vas der roughest chouse; I’d dake dot vrom no oder poy But leedle Yawcob Strauss. He dakes der milk-ban for a dhrum, Und cuts mine cane in dwo, To make der schticks to beat it mit,—— Mine gracious, dot vos drue! I dinks mine hed vas schplit abart, He kicks oup sooch a touse: But never mind; der poys vas few Like dot young Yawcob Strauss. He asks me questions, sooch as dese: Who baints mine nose so red? Who vas it cuts dot schmoodth blace oudt Vrom der hair ubon mine hed? Und where der plaze goes vrom der lamp Vene’er der glim I douse. How gan I all dose dings eggsblain To dot schmall Yawcob Strauss? I somedimes dink I schall go vild Mit sooch a grazy poy, Und vish vonce more I gould haf rest, Und beaceful dimes enshoy; But ven he vash asleep in ped, So quiet as a mouse, I prays der Lord, “Dake anyding, But leaf dot Yawcob Strauss.” _Charles Follen Adams._ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ _THE MINISTER’S WOOING._ “WAL, the upshot on’t was, they fussed and fuzzled and wuzzled till they’d drinked up all the tea in the tea-pot; and then they went down and called on the parson, and wuzzled him all up talkin’ about this, that, and t’other that wanted lookin’ to, and that it was no way to leave everything to a young chit like Huldy, and that he ought to be lookin’ about for an experienced woman. “The parson, he thanked ’em kindly, and said he believed their motives was good, but he didn’t go no further.